#but first i want to enjoy my weekend off from working in the fields because again; i am a NORMAL CITIZEN WITH NORMAL PROBLEMS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mr-cha-n · 3 months ago

Text

The Pen Pal Project

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x reader

Genres: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff

Warnings: Profanities, sappiness, cheating (third party), a tinsy hint of angst

Word Count: 10.2k

Summary: Over a decade of handwritten letters later, you can happily say that the Pen Pal Project was your greatest success.

Reaching up into the top shelf of the wardrobe, toppling onto your tiptoes in order to do so, your fingertips brush against a satin, bowed box. Pulling the box down to your chest, you perch at the edge of your large, periwinkle-sheeted bed, gingerly untangling the pretty blue ribbon and lifting the lid off of the top. Leafing your fingers through the stacks of paper inside, you feel a wave of nostalgia enrapturing your body. Your head rolls back, eyes falling shut as your mind is overtaken by memory.

"Honey, the guests will be here soon!" Your husband yells out from down the stairs.

"I'll just be a few minutes! Can you take the cake out, my love?" You call back, praying you have the time to reminisce before everyone arrives.

You gently pull out the first letter from the top of the stack.

April 5th 2007

Dear pen pal,

I am writing to you because my class has signed up for the Pen Pal Project this year. Because I don't know who you are or anything about you, I am going to answer some of the questions my teacher has given us, and hopefully you can answer them too in your reply!

1. What is your name?

My mom said that I shouldn't give out any personal information, so I can't actually answer this question. My friends all call me Dusty, so you can call me that too.

2. What hobbies do you enjoy?

I am really into skating, starcraft, hockey and rocks. Yesterday, me and my friends went out to the outskirts of the city to see if we could climb the big oak trees, and I found a piece of dolomite next to the river! I really want to find a meteorite but they're very rare so I think it'll take a lot of searching. I also play in my school's field hockey team - my mom wants me to stop playing because last week I cracked one of my teeth, but I think she's going to come around when she sees our tournament next weekend.

3. What do you want to do when you grow up?

My dad is a teacher and my mom is a nurse, so my parents want me to go to university and become a doctor or a professor, but I'd quite like to be an astronaut or Indiana Jones, whichever pays better.

4. What's one thing you want to know about your pen pal?

I want to know everything about you (more than one, sorry)! What's your school like? What year were you born in (mine is 1995)? What do you do for fun? Do you like dogs? Do you have a phone?

I'm not sure if I'll get a response to this letter, but if you do want to, I hope we can keep in touch for a long time :)

Yours truly,

Dusty

May 21st 2007

Dear Dusty,

I'm really glad I got your letter. Some of my friends got letters that didn't even have a return address, but thankfully I get to write back to you and answer some of your questions. I was also born in 1995 so we are same-age friends. I'm finding this year in school a bit harder because of all the tests we are doing, but we just started doing football again in Physical Education so it's not too bad. Sports are my biggest hobby - I do football and basketball and I want to start wrestling this year. I mostly like to go and play with my friends at the park. I'm on some of the school teams, but my friends tell me I'm too competitive to play professionally.

I also really like gaming and reading. I finished the Protoss campaign over the winter break, but I've had to stop now that school has started again. My friends are all really excited about the announcement of Starcraft II, are you too? Will you keep going with the original or switch to the new one?

When I grow up, I either want to do sports or I'll study to work a good job in business or finance. Being an astronaut would be so cool! You'd definitely be able to find a meteorite then.

About your other questions, I don't have a phone yet but I do love dogs. When I'm older I want at least one dog, if not more. Do you have any pets?

I hope that we can keep writing to each other too - it's fun to have a secret friend.

From,

Cherry

January 4th 2011

Dear Cherry,

Sorry it's been a while - I've been really busy over the winter break, but I just had my tonsils removed so I have a bit of free time in recovery to write this letter. Before you ask, no - I didn't wake up during the surgery which I was a bit disappointed about, but I did manage to swallow enough blood to make me throw up after waking up so that was kinda crazy.

I can't believe that your friend did that! One time my friend Jiwoo got suspended for unscrewing all of the lightbulbs in the science classrooms, but that was because of a dare, not her own free will! I've never been suspended before, but I came close for tardiness last year. Have you ever been suspended?

I also appreciated your inquiry into the Heiran - Hyunki situation. I can't believe I forgot to update you in my last letter, and you'll be glad to receive it! Unbelievably, they got back together. I know it's what we feared would happen, but apparently Heiran has made some of her own mistakes in the relationship, so she's willing to overlook the whole thing. Absolutely crazy - I think that she's just scared to break up with him, which I suppose is a fair concern - just not for a 16-year-old. The whole situation really made me think about the purpose of relationships and love. All of my friends keep rushing into relationships this year, and I feel like I'm being left behind. I just don't care as much as they do, but they act like I'm some alien creature for not wanting to make out with someone in the school locker rooms. Perhaps this isn't something you can relate to, but it would be nice to know if you think I'm justified in my opinion or if there really is something wrong with me.

The thought of starting school again after the break is actually making me want to run away to the mountains. My sister is leaving for university and I don't want to go to school without her. Of course, I can't tell her that, but it's going to be really lonely walking in on my own. Plus, my parents' attention is firmly on me now, so I can't mess up in exams this year. The amount of pressure is going to make my head explode. How are you feeling about the year? I guess because you have the football season to look forward to your mind is probably focused on that?

I'm thinking about rejoining hockey this year. Even though it was too much last year, I did really miss it and I think I can better manage my time now that I don't have to be in the choir anymore. I think my mom might have a fit when I tell her, but the way you talked about sports really made me miss playing. Plus, apparently, I need an outlet for all these teenage hormonal emotions seeing as I'm not getting it on in the McDonald's parking lot.

Anyways, I need to get going now so I have time to blend some fruit up before lunchtime.

Yours truly,

Dusty

A chuckle leaves your lips as you read back over your letter. You'd been so worried about who was dating who and, more importantly, who you weren't dating. You were always so grateful for someone to discuss your fears with - your friends at the time certainly didn't understand. You'd had your first kiss a few weeks after you'd sent the letter. A party at a friend of a friend's house had devolved into typical teenage party games and you'd been pressured into kissing a boy whose name you couldn't remember. In fairness, you remembered that he was cute - curly dark hair and sharp cheekbones - but you'd made a joke about not being able to engage in tonsil tennis and he hadn't laughed so you'd known he wasn't the one.

June 27th 2011

Dear Dusty,

I finally asked out Myunghee and she said yes -

Nuh uh, skip that one.

October 23rd 2013

Dear Dusty,

All the kids in the year have planned a big Halloween party to celebrate our last your of high school. It's pretty exciting - apparently, they've bought some major decorations and they're going to set out the host's house to have scary surprises in all the rooms. I wouldn't be surprised if someone dresses up and decides to chase drunk kids around all night. It's a bittersweet feeling - our last Halloween party, but perhaps our best? Do you have any plans for Halloween and the holidays? I'm thinking of doing a Superman costume, but I'm wondering if that's a bit too obvious?

I put off writing about it first because I didn't want to open the letter with bad news, but I wanted to let you know that me and Myunghee broke up. Even though it's pretty sad, I've known it was coming for a while. If you remember my last letter, I told you about the fight that we had about next year, and I think that was really the beginning of the end. I was hoping that we could make it work a bit longer, but she said that we'd just be dragging out the inevitable and I guess she's right. I think I'm still a bit annoyed about the rollercoaster of the last month seeing if she's known the whole time that we should break up but I'll get over it. It's mostly just weird not having her around all the time. Everywhere feels a lot emptier now. I'm glad I can write to you about this - it's a bit awkward talking about it with my friends because they are also friends with her, but I can actually be honest with you.

Anyway, I hope you are doing a bit better than me. Your date sounded pretty cool - I've always wanted to go on an ice-skating date but I'd be a bit scared of falling over and making a fool of myself so I admire your confidence. If you are still seeing him, I hope he's treating you well. Chocolates and flowers at least once a month - and you can tell him I said so if he asks. If you're not seeing him, I (pre-emptively) can't believe he did that to you! What a jerk...

Are you watching the AFC Champions League final? A few friends and I are going to go down to the bar to watch it together and pray for a good result - either way, it should be fun. I suppose your dad will have it on in the house, but I'll be shocked if you tell me you're going to watch it with him after last time. Best to avoid the flying wrath of a TV remote. There's something about dads and sports, isn't there? I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm an adult. I hope not, but I already get too into it so maybe it's inevitable.

Yours,

Cherry

That date had been a good one as far as you remember, but the memory has become blurry after all the times your husband has taken you ice-skating since. You'd dated that guy for a few more weeks after this, but he made a weird comment to one of his friends when he didn't think you could hear it so you knew he wasn't the one.

Finishing high school and moving on to university had been a formative time for you. You gained a sense of identity that you'd lost as a teenager, and reconnected with your younger self. A smile crinkles your lips as you think about that time. The stupid escapades of adults let loose on their own for the first time, the lifelong friends you'd made, and the wealth of knowledge you'd gained about yourself and about the world. Your husband never attended university so he never experienced any of that, but you suppose he did have his own life-changing revelations during this time.

February 8th 2015

Dear Cherry,

I'm in crisis and I need your advice! I haven't spoken to anyone else about this yet, but I have a feeling building in me that needs to be released and you always give me the best advice. I'm thinking about dropping out of my program.

I know this sounds super rash and stupid, but I really hate it. I find it so dull and confusing, and everyone else is much better at it than I am. And, if I'm really being honest, I only chose medicine because my mother wanted me to. I would feel so stupid revealing that to anyone else, but I think you already knew that was the case. I'm struggling to keep going with it without the passion that other students seem to have, and when I hear about my friends' courses they sound so much more interesting.

If I actually go through with it, this may be the last letter I write to you. But, given that I survived my mother's wrath, a life studying literature or archaeology sounds so much more fulfilling to my brain even if not my pockets. What do you think about all of this? Is it worth following a passion that may lead to nothing or sticking it out with a stable, reliable path to future success without enjoyment?

As you know, I make very impulsive decisions, so I need your help in deciding whether or not this would be one of those.

Yours truly,

Dusty

P.S. I got asked to the dance by this really attractive guy who works at the coffee shop on campus so not everything is going wrong.

P.S.S. I found a rock which I thought was a meteorite but it was actually a magnetite - better luck next time!

You'd dropped out of your medicine major the moment you'd received the reply. Of course, your pen pal was a lot more supportive of your decision than your parents were but they got over it in time. Your fate had been decided the moment you'd stepped out of your first archaeology class - heart beaming and mind brimming with all of your plans for the future. Despite your parents' apprehensions, it had been the right decision. It didn't take long for your burning enthusiasm and insatiable appetite for learning to be picked up by your professors, and by your second year in the major you'd been invited on an exclusive trip one of your professors was going on with a handful of other students.

It was around this time that you'd started wondering more about your pen pal. The flutters of your heart each time the small envelope appeared in your dorm pigeonhole had been drowned out by the rush of university life. Reflecting back, your obliviousness to your own emotions makes you shake your head in disbelief. But then, you'd met Daejung. He'd taken you out dancing, brought you flowers and laughed at your jokes, and you began to wonder if he was the one.

May 16th 2017

Dear Dusty,

Officially, you may know me better than anyone else. I know I already sent you a letter this month that you probably haven't even received, but I realised that it is the tenth anniversary since I received your first letter. Not to be soppy, but it truly means the world to me that we've been able to keep up this correspondence this whole time.

As far as I'm aware, we won the Pen Pal Project. No one else I know stayed in touch with their childhood pen pal for nearly as long as we have, and I think that we deserve some kind of reward for it.

But, beyond any records we must have broken, I'm most grateful for the friendship we have developed. In any other circumstances, I would have said that it was impossible for people who have never met to be each other's closest confidants, but I can confidently say that there is nothing I wouldn't tell you. If it turns out you've been some 60-year-old man this whole time, consider me logged off from this life.

My wish is that we can keep doing this for as long as we are able to hold pens in our hands, and even then I'd consider getting a scribe to write the letters for me.

As a gift, I feel that it's about time that I tell you my name - my real name. If you (and your mom) still don't feel comfortable sharing yours then Dusty is still perfectly fine for me, but the fundamental disconnect between telling a person your deepest secrets and not telling them your name has gotten too overwhelming for me, so it's time to rectify that.

Yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. If you still want to call me Cherry that's also a-okay!

The first time Seungcheol revealed his name to you, you remember you'd dropped the letter in shock. As if knowing his name changed things, as if he didn't live a completely separate life from you already. It wasn't like knowing who he was would change anything about your life - you had no connection to him other than your letters - but the intimacy of his name had you staggering a few steps backwards, eye bulging from your head at the fallen letter. It seems rather overdramatic now, but in hindsight it always does.

This letter had been a bit of a turning point in your relationship, beyond the end of the nicknames you'd used for ten years. You'd always felt close enough to Seungcheol to pour your heart out to him in writing, but the closeness you felt was compounded in this letter. You wipe a few rogue tears from your eyes as you read back over it, moved by the raw declarations Seungcheol had been brave enough to express. If you really think about it, this letter was the first time you'd truly tried to picture what your pen pal looked like. Up until this point, you'd been enflamed by his words and unloaded all of your deepest thoughts to him in return, but this was the first time that you'd realised that your pen pal was a real man your age that you were already deeply connected to. The thought had been scandalous in your mind, and the shame that overwhelmed you when you'd met up with Daejung later that day made it hard to look him in the eye. Fantasising about a man you had never seen before had felt as bad as cheating, and the various forms of him that had appeared in your dreams for the rest of the week only compounded your guilt.

August 4th 2018

Dear Seungcheol,

Happy 24th Birthday! It's actually shocking to me to think that we're this old already, but I think mid-20s is a label that suits you well these days. Jokes aside, I hope you have a really lovely day doing whatever it is you have planned. I'll assume you're off bungee jumping with Jeonghan or on an all-inclusive golfing retreat until you tell me otherwise. In all cases, I hope that you are surrounded by friends and family to remind you how special you are.

Also, congratulations on your new job! I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were interviewing for it, but I suppose you didn't want to jinx anything by putting it into writing. I always thought that coaching would suit you - you could scare me into coming to practice any day! You should be really proud of yourself; I know that I am.

You'll never guess who got in contact with me this week! All out of nowhere, I got a message from Heiran of all people inviting me to her and Hyunki's wedding! I guess I was really wrong about that one... For their sake, I hope that their relationship is a bit better than it was in school. I was very surprised to be invited seeing as we haven't spoken in years, but I suppose it'll be nice to see everyone from school again. Perhaps I should tell Daejung that he can't come and you can be my plus one instead - I think you know the couple better than he does!

Another one of my friends just gave birth to a baby boy. All of this marrying and birth-giving is really screwing with my head. As far as I was aware, that's a thing that proper adults do and we're nowhere close to that yet. Even if I know that 24 is a very common age to be doing that stuff, it's still more than my brain can process. Once again, I am left behind as everyone else moves on to the next stage of life. I'm grateful, at least, that Daejung is pretty relaxed about all of that stuff. Hoping we can have a few more years before we start thinking about any of it - I still have so much travelling to do, things to see, and meals to eat before I flush all of my money down the toilet.

Jiwoo got really excited this week because she thought she saw Lee Byunghun walking past her work, so that made me feel a bit better about my life priorities.

Yours truly,

(Y/n)

P.S. I'm spending extra money to make sure this gets to you on time, so if it doesn't you cannot blame me.

P.P.S. My new address is - XXX

That year you and Daejung had finally moved in together. The apartment was small and in a less-than-nice area, but you'd been ecstatic at the chance to live with the man you loved. It had been a rough year before that - Daejung had missed out on a job offer for his dream role and you weren't able to go abroad on an excavation because he didn't want you to leave for months just as you were moving in together - but you'd seen the new apartment as symbolic of the new beginning you two would get together.

You'd also thought a lot about meeting up with Seungcheol that year. Looking back, it was crazy that you never did. Both of you expressed a will to do so, but something had always prevented you from actually doing it. You were completing your postgraduate degree part-time and working a service job that was supporting both you and Daejung at the start of the year, moving in together in the middle of the year, and Seungcheol had gotten busy with his new job in the latter half of the year. Even though you had never met up before, that you weren't able to that year was the first time it felt like a loss.

December 12th 2019

Dear (Y/n),

I've been thinking about you a lot recently. Writing to you has been the highlight of my month for a while now, and I'm so proud of you for everything you've achieved. It's amazing that you're already being asked to go on your first excursion as a proper expert, and I hope that Daejung comes around to the idea of you being away for so long. I'm sure that I'll miss your letters so I can imagine he's feeling much worse about it - but that shouldn't stop you from going. You might find an ancient vase and accidently release a curse upon the world, or discover a new dinosaur! Even if you go and are just digging up dirt with no results, I'll still be impressed.

One of the kids I mentor asked me if I knew what Starcraft was yesterday, and at that moment I really felt my age. I think it's led to some level of introspection I usually avoid, but one thing that has become clear to me is that I'm very grateful for this friendship. I hope that one day soon you can perhaps travel to Daegu and visit, or I can come see you in Seoul. Or perhaps it will take away the great fun of having a pen pal if we meet - you may be expecting someone completely opposite from me and seeing me may ruin the magic?

But the main reason I've been thinking about you is because I finally finished Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982. You were very correct in your recommendation - I can't believe it took me so long to read it! Summary of thoughts: I'm raging and also apologising to my mother and grandmother every time I see them. You have to send me another recommendation now that I'm finished - maybe some sort of mystery or thriller if you know any?

Yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. I suppose I should send you a whip and brown fedora and then you can officially say you're Indiana Jones.

January 7th 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I'm glad you had fun on your trip! The picture you sent of the mountains was absolutely gorgeous and was a hilarious reminder that I have no idea what you look like. I keep saying I want to go to Japan but can hardly find the time, but after seeing the picture I really must go now.

I have some big news.

Daejung proposed and we're getting married!!

I know it's a bit out of the blue - I was surprised too. He's been putting off any mention of marriage for the last few months so I assumed he just wasn't interested but I guess that was all a cover to stop me from suspecting the proposal. It happened a few days after I got back from Vienna. It was really sweet - he threw this big party with all of our close friends and family to celebrate the end of my project and proposed at the end of the night. I was pretty shocked which I suppose was the point, but I'm really just excited that we're taking that step together.

My main purpose for writing is that I wanted to invite you to the wedding. It's a big step, but it wouldn't feel right to get married without one of my oldest friends there. If you decide you don't want to and you want to keep our friendship strictly on paper then I'd totally understand. But if you do want to come, we'd love to have you with us. I'll cover any travel and hotel fees if it means I can have you here.

Your continued support via letter means the world to me.

Yours truly,

(Y/n)

The wedding. Oh, the wedding.

A few nights before your wedding Daejung had come to the hotel you'd been staying in that week to finalise all of the preparations and observe some old-fashioned pre-wedding rituals your mother insisted on as if you and Daejung hadn't lived together for years before that. He'd given you a marriage gift a bit early because you were supposed to go straight to your honeymoon in Japan on the day of the wedding. Your heart fluttered in excitement as you opened the box, electrified at the surprise of what your future-husband could have gotten you to symbolise your union together. The reality had been, you could now admit, disappointing. The necklace had been pretty, and certainly not cheap. A silver heart set with a gleaming diamond to match the ring that Daejung had picked out for you. You'd smiled, thanking him for the gift and tried to ignore the discontent brewing in your own heart.

The first time you saw Seungcheol was at your wedding reception. Because of his job and the distance, he hadn't been able to make your morning ceremony, but the fact that he even chose to come all that way meant a lot to you.

"Who's the hunk with the green scarf?" One of your bridesmaids, Jiwoo had asked, pointing out a man standing alone by one of the drinks tables.

For a moment you didn't want to believe that it was him, but who else would be at your wedding that you didn't recognise? Tall and broad with fluffy hair and a handsome-beyond-belief face, Seungcheol had been a picture to witness. All dressed up in a suit, you thought he looked rather like a super spy or a CEO from one of those corny romance books. In any case, you were shocked to your core that that was the man you'd spilt your darkest secrets to for over a decade now.

"Oh, I think that might be Seungcheol," You breathed, voice wavering with uncertainty even though you were now certain it was him.

"Seungcheol - hmm, why does that name sound so familiar?" Your other bridesmaid, Mirae, pondered, her brow crinkled as she tried to identify the name in her memory.

"Oh my god, you invited your pen pal to your wedding?!" Jiwoo exclaimed, spinning on her heel to give you an incredulous look.

"Of course I did, I've known him for almost as long as I've known you!" You stuttered, your head still trying to play catch-up after the dizzying appearance of said topic of conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me that your pen pal was so hot?" Mirae scoffed, mock fanning her face in a way that made you feel shamefully irritated.

"Surprisingly, he didn't mention it in his letters." You responded, offering her a deadpan look and an eyebrow raise. She shrugged, but you'd known that wouldn't be the end of that conversation.

About 15 minutes later, you'd finally managed to make your way over to Seungcheol's perch. It was hard to decipher if your delay was because of all of the people trying to talk to you at the same time (perks of it being your wedding) or because of the unexplained fear and anxiety that was bubbling inside you at the prospect of finally meeting him face-to-face. As you finally made eye-contact, and he'd flashed his teeth at you in an infectious grin, you'd felt all of that melt away from you.

"Hi," You greeted, not able to wipe your own smile from your face.

"Hi," He responded, a peace settling between the two of you. "You look really beautiful."

Your face was all ablush and you felt a sense of dread at what would happen if you started like this. Starting down at your dress, you were unable to look back up at him.

"Thank you, I had it specially made," You smiled, your eyes gleaming as he chuckled at your joke. "I really appreciate you coming all this way, it means so much to me that you're here. Please let me know if there's anything you need - have you eaten yet? I can get you some-"

"It's okay, I'm feeling great." His hand reached out to still your own, which you hadn't realised was nervously picking at at skin around your nails.

"I can't believe that this is how we're first meeting," You breathed, a sense of shyness overwhelming you at the feeling of his skin against yours.

"If you ask me, we've definitely met before. Just not physically." His words had your head spinning so much that you were struggling to remember that you were both at your wedding.

"Poetic," You agreed, trying to present at least outwardly calmer than you felt inside.

"Oh! Before I forget, I got you this." Seungcheol extended a hand out with a small, wrapped box in his palm. "It wasn't on the registry, and really it's only for you so I thought I should give it to you personally instead of putting it on the gifts table."

"That's really generous of you, you didn't have to." You offered him a shy smile, taking the gift from him. The neatly wrapped box had been laced shut with a pretty blue ribbon, and you remember the thumping of your heart in your chest as you undid it. A small gasp involuntarily left your mouth, your hand moving to cover it in shock.

"Important backstory - I found it a few years after you told me you were looking for it. I wanted to just send it to you then, but I thought that I should keep it for when we met. I never thought that it would take so long to do so, but I hung on to it just in case."

A small chunk of dark meteorite sat in the box in your hand. Looking up and down between Seungcheol and the rock, you felt your eyes well up with tears that you had to force back down to not ruin your wedding makeup.

"Oh wow," Your voice cracked, "Seungcheol, this is seriously so sweet. I'm shocked that you kept this for me."

You felt unable to tell him all of your emotions, hoping that the gratitude in your eyes was enough to express them all to him. The sweet, adoring expression on his face told you that he understood without you needing to say any more.

That, unfortunately, had been the highlight of your wedding.

Not an hour later, it had all gone to shit, starting with a well-intentioned comment from your best friend.

"The wedding is so gorgeous (Y/n), I'll have to take notes for my own." Jiwoo gushed, pointing at all the flowers that had now been revealed as people moved into the outside area of the venue.

"I know, Daejung did a really good job picking out this place."

"I'm so happy for you two, especially after the whole Vienna situation."

A bolt of alarm rang through your bones as you a struck still by the comment. You didn't miss the panicked look Mirae sent Jiwoo, who looked equally as confused as you felt.

"What-" You tried to compose yourself amongst the rushes of fear that were threatening to render you completely useful. "What do you mean the Vienna situation?"

Jiwoo was now floundering, looking between you and Mirae with a gaping mouth.

"I just meant - I mean, nevermind - I thought... I thought you knew?" The last whispered part had your heart sinking to the bottom of your chest. Mirae was refusing to meet your gaze, and that was telling you all you needed to know.

"Did something happen when I was away?" You demanded, your voice slick with emotion.

"(Y/n)..." Mirae started, but the withering look you gave her immediately stopped her placating.

Four words later and your entire life had exploded. He cheated on you. Whilst you were away, no less. And then, as if it would magically make everything better, proposed instead of telling you.

The look on your then-husband's face when you stormed up to him demanding to know the truth was enough to convince you of the reality of your friend's words. You could now admit, amidst all of the hurt, anger and disgust you felt towards Daejung at that moment, your overriding emotion was utter panic at the thought of having to tell all of your guests that the wedding was to be stopped and annulled. A trivial emotion amongst the personal grief you were experiencing, but undoubtedly the cause of your greatest distress at the moment.

You didn't see Seungcheol as or after it all happened. Any pretence of calm instantly slipped the moment you began speaking to your family and friends - a speech which ended with you in floods of tears being escorted away from the hosts of shocked guests. It was only hours later that you realised that you hadn't said goodbye and, worse, that you'd invited him all of this way just to witness the shitshow that was your failed marriage. Too ashamed to burden him further, you chose not to write to him for months afterwards He gave you space too, and you weren't sure if you felt grateful for it or utterly alarmed that he may just never want to speak to you again.

May 6th 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I'm deeply sorry for my complete silence, although I suppose I do not need to explain to you the reason for it. My hand has been itching to pick up my pen and write to you every month that goes by, but only now have I overcome my own shame and disgrace to do so. First of all, I have to sincerely apologise for making you waste your time coming to such an awful event. I can only hope that you managed to get a slice of cake before it all fell apart so that I could at least offer you the condolence of a delicious snack. I also must apologise for completely abandoning you during your trip to the city. I was really looking forward to showing you my favourite spots, and I let my own misery get in the way of being a good host.

I hope you are well. As I haven't heard from you in a little while, I don't know what's going on with you so I have little to comment on. But, at the very least, I wish for your good health and general happiness. If you are worried about me, you don't need to be. I have taken the last few months to put my life back together, and I feel like I'm making better progress these days - hence the letter writing. I'm thinking of getting a dog for companionship since I have vehemently sworn off men for the foreseeable future.

I also wanted you to know that I treasure your gift. As it turns out, meeting you and getting a meteorite was the best part of that night, if you'll believe it. I have it kept in a special box on my desk just to make sure that it's safe and that I'll never lose it. I wish I could have given you something in return. If we end up meeting again I'll have to start planning now to make sure my gift is just as good as yours was. Speaking of, you are welcome to come and stay with me any time you want, and we can rain-check that city tour. Alternatively, if you want to ignore this letter and never speak to me again, I'd also understand.

Yours truly,

(Y/n) 2021

May 19th 2021

Dear (Y/n),

I'm so glad to have heard from you, and that you are doing okay. As much as I appreciate all of your apologies, none of them are necessary. If anything, I feel that I should be apologising to you for leaving you in the dark for just as long as you left me - you had a much better excuse too. Although I didn't want to overwhelm you with letters after such awful news, I realise now that leaving it so long was not the right course of action.

I think getting a dog is a fantastic idea. Company is something you'll never lack with a dog around, and I can agree that dogs are much better companions than men.

As for me, I am doing well too. It's mostly just been a cycle of work and sleep, so I haven't got much to report, but I'm hoping for a more eventful summer. Visiting the city would be a wonderful way to achieve this, so perhaps closer to the time I'll write again to arrange coming to stay with you. I would love to see you again soon. My only other news that I know you'd be interested in is that Jeonghan has seemingly met someone. He's keeping all of the details close to the chest, so I'll have to update you in the next letter when I know more, but it's an exciting revelation. He seems very happy, which is all I can hope for.

When I told you that I wouldn't stop writing to you until I could no longer hold a pen in my hand, I meant it. I hope that you will never again think that I wouldn't want to speak to you -it's the highlight of my day.

Yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. I'm sure you don't want to talk about the wedding, but just so you know - he was a fucking fool to let you go.

You remember the relief you'd felt at getting that letter. The uncertainty of whether or not Seungcheol still wanted to talk to you was enough to keep you on edge for the entire 13 days that it took for you to get his response. But, as always, your friend was reliably there for you.

The time you'd taken over those last new months, and the few months afterwards had been tumultuous, but cleansing. In your post-marriage clarity, you'd realised all of the opportunities you'd missed because of Daejung. Deciding that you wouldn't let him take anything else from you, you'd arranged to go on a long excursion you'd waved off for wedding planning when you'd first heard about it. Learning about the project from one of your old professors who'd transferred to Cairo University, you were offered a position on the ongoing expedition in Saqqara. Although Egyptology was not your speciality, your master's dissertation on the mummified scarab beetles found at Saqqara in 2018 and your tutor's reference got you onto a low-level position on the expedition.

Six months in Egypt had been exactly what you needed to move on from Daejung. At that time, your relationship with your closest friends was also on the rocks, and it was really only Seungcheol and your family that you missed during your time abroad.

December 23rd 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I've finally got some time off over the holiday break, and I'm ready to give you the download of everything that's happening here in Saqqara! But, first, I'm going to have to beg you for the details of your double date with Jeonghan and Jooyeon. How was it!? Was Jooyeon's friend nice? Were there sparks? How many times did Jeonghan bring up embarrassing stories about you as a kid?

I hope it went well - you deserve all of the happiness in the world.

Now, onto the important stuff!

I'm not sure if you saw on the news, but we've made some pretty huge finds since I got here, Obviously, I can't give myself all the credit, but just being part of the team that made it happen is pretty incredible. We've found multiple tombs of dignitaries from the reign of Ramses II. I'm doing a bit of research on one of the tombs, belonging to a military leader called Hor Mohib, but I have to keep taking breaks every 20 minutes to pinch my arm and remind myself that this is reality.

My Arabic has gotten significantly better now - I was rather rusty when I first got here. I'm able to have reasonably complex conversations with the Egyptian members of the team and the locals helping out, and it's pretty cool for my nerd brain to be surrounded by a group of people equally as excited to be digging up ornamental graves as I am.

I'm really glad I came. It's hard to admit, even to you, but my life really fell apart after the wedding. Honestly, I didn't even know if I wanted to keep working in archaeology or if I wanted to jet off to Iceland and buy a farm. And the worst bit is that it's been so lonely since. Losing Daejung was one thing, but I haven't spoken to Jiwoo or Mirae since. I can't bear to look at them knowing that they hid that secret from me for so long. Maybe one day I'll be able to forgive them, but it certainly won't be now. Your letters have been my only sanctuary of human connection in these past few months, and that's something I'll have to add to my list of neverending gratitude I hold for you.

I realize now that I haven’t been very good at expressing how much your friendship means to me, how it's been my lifeline in this mess. Your letters are the only constant, the only thing that feels like home even when I am surrounded by ancient wonders and new colleagues.

And so, I have a confession. I want to see you again. I want to tell you all of this in person. I can't say what will come of it, but I know that after all of these years, after all the letters and confessions and secrets shared, we owe it to ourselves to meet in a way that isn't rushed or overshadowed by anything else.

Maybe we could meet halfway between Seoul and Daegu, or I could take the train down to visit you? I need to see you again, not as a guest at my ruined wedding, but as Seungcheol, the one person who’s known me at my best and worst, and still chooses to write back.

Let me know what you think.

Yours truly,

(Y/n)

P.S. I've included a small rock I found on the dig - nothing special but it reminded me of our old conversations. I hope it makes you smile.

P.P.S. Please don't feel pressured to say yes, but know that I would really like to see you again.

You can't quite recall what possessed you to write such a bold letter. Perhaps it had been the desert sun, the thrill of discovering something new in something old at Saqqara, or simply your immense loneliness.

Days had turned into weeks as you anxiously waited for a response, checking your makeshift mailbox daily. Then one morning, there it was—a simple white envelope with Seungcheol’s familiar sloping handwriting.

January 17th 2022

My Dear (Y/n),

I've thought about meeting you countless times since our first encounter. After reading your words, I realise that I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. How's this - I'll take the first train up to Seoul when you're back and we can spend the day together. No distractions, no interruptions - just you and me, finally getting to know each other beyond the pages of our letters.

I'm looking forward to me, more than I can express. Until I see you again, take care, and know that I'm counting down the days.

All yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. the best bit about the date was spending time with Jeonghan. No more needs to be said.

You stare down at the letter, your heart pacing as fast as it had the first time you'd received it. Beautiful words from a beautiful man with a beautiful soul.

You'd gotten back to Seoul by the end of March 2022, and, as promised, Seungcheol came to visit you that first weekend in April. When he'd stepped off the train in the bustling station at the heart of the city, you were there to greet him. You'd spotted him standing there, taller even than you'd remembered, with that same easy smile that had always leapt off of the page.

The world around you had seemed to blur as you walked toward each other, nerves fluttering in your stomach but quickly dissolving as he pulled you into a gentle, lingering hug. The connection between you, once confined to words on paper, felt more real than ever.

You spent the day wandering through the city, visiting old bookstores, sipping coffee in quiet cafes, and talking as if no time had passed since that fateful wedding reception. Every shared laugh, every story swapped, deepened the bond you'd forged in ink.

June 14th 2022

Seungcheol,

It feels like only yesterday that we were wandering through Seoul together, but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. I keep finding myself replaying that day in my mind - how easy it was to talk to you in person, as if we'd done it a hundred times before. It's strange, isn't it? How someone can feel so familiar, even when they're a whole new experience at the same time.

I've been thinking about our conversation in the bookstore. You said something about how some stories are better left unfinished, that sometimes the best part of a tale is imagining what could be. I can't stop thinking about that - about how some stories do need an ending, and how others are meant to keep going, even if we don’t know where they’ll lead.

There's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I haven't found the right words yet. I guess I'm still figuring it out myself. It's just that being around you feels different to how I expected. There's a comfort, yes, but also something more, something I can't quite define. It's like we're on the edge of something new, and it's exciting and a little terrifying at the same time. I'm not sure if you feel it too, but I hop you do.

Anyway, I don't want to get too ahead of myself as usual. I'm just really glad we've reconnected, and that we've managed to keep in touch after all these years.

It means more to me than I can say. Let’s make sure our next meeting isn’t too far off—I’m already looking forward to it.

Until then, take care of yourself, and don’t work too hard. I’ll be watching the clock until I see you again.

Yours,

(Y/n)

That day in April 2022 hadn't been the last time you saw Seungcheol. You'd made that mistake once in the past, and neither of you was willing to do so again. He continued to come to Seoul to see you, and you travelled down to Daegu to meet him and his friends. Your letters ceased for a while over this time due to the frequency you were seeing each other, but for the first time that didn't bother you.

You remember, with teary eyes, the day that you finally confessed your feelings.

It was 25th September 2022, after a whole summer spent together, and the air was tinged with the first hint of autumn's chill. THe leaves were just beginning to turn, painting the streets in warm hues of amber and crimson as you walked side by side in a quiet part in Seoul. The easy laughter and conversation that had marked your friendship over the years felt heavier that day, as it something unspoken was lingering in the crisp air between you.

You had spent countless days together that summer - visiting museums, trying new restaurants, even embarking on a spontaneous week trip to the coast. Each moment with Seunngchaeol had felt like a dream, a slow realisation that your heart was no longer just content with friendship. But with that realization came a fear you hadn't expected. What if this was enough for him? What if risking everything by confessing how you truly felt would unravel the beautiful bond you had spent so many years cultivating?

That evening, as the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting long shadows across the park, you found yourselves sitting on a bench overlooking a small pond. The water was still, reflecting the fiery colours of the sky, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. Seungcheol had been quieter than usual that day, his expression pensive as if he, too, was wrestling with unspoken thoughts.

You felt your heart pound in your chest, each beat louder than the last as you tried to summon the courage to speak. The words were caught in your throat, but the fear of losing him if you didn’t say them was stronger. Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, you turned to him, your voice trembling as you broke the silence.

"Seungcheol," you began, your hands nervously fidgeting in your lap. He turned to look at you, his eyes soft and attentive, encouraging you to continue. "There’s something I need to tell you… something I’ve been feeling for a while now."

His gaze didn’t waver, but you noticed the slight hitch in his breath, the way his fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the bench. The world seemed to shrink to just the two of you, everything else fading away as you gathered your thoughts.

"I—" You paused, trying to find the right words, but there were none that seemed adequate to express the depth of your feelings. "I think I’ve fallen in love with you."

The admission hung in the air between you, a fragile confession that you could no longer take back. For a moment, time seemed to stop, the world holding its breath as you waited for his response. You searched his face for any sign of what he might be thinking, every second feeling like an eternity.

Then, without a word, Seungcheol reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tear that had escaped down your cheek. There was a tenderness in his touch, a warmth that radiated through you, calming your racing heart.

"I’ve been waiting to hear those words," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Because I’ve been feeling the same way for a long time too."

His words washed over you, a wave of relief and joy so overwhelming that you felt your breath hitch. You had been so afraid, so uncertain, and now, with his quiet confession, all those fears melted away. He leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull back if you needed to, but you didn’t. You closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a gentle, tender kiss that felt like a promise—one of many yet to come.

Hearing the doorbell ring down below you, and the sound of your husband's voice calling out to say he'll get it, you rush forward to reach your favourite letter - just one more before you return to reality.

November 3rd 2023

My dearest (Y/n),

I'm so glad you're having such a good time in Rome - I'm rather jealous of all of your sightseeing and pasta-eating. Kkuma and I are holding the fort down at home, although I had to be scolded yesterday for breaking the toaster when I tried to make Kkuma some breakfast. I sent some more suncream over in the mail because I know you've already run out and forgotten to get some more - I'm not sure if this letter will reach you first, but if it does look out for the parcel.

Now, I'll admit, the main purpose of my letter is something a little different than simply catching up, as much as I love those letters too. I thought about doing this once you returned home, but you've already had one man declare his everlasting intentions to you after you returned from an excursion, so I thought it better to avoid rehashing those memories (we'll do this again when you're home, but I thought it might be fun to do it this way).

If you have the suncream box already, then you may have a sneaking suspicion of what I'm about to say.

I've loved you for as long as I've known you. As a twelve-year-old kid, I didn't know that was what it was, but the level of obsession I had with writing to you and receiving your replies was beyond any normal friendship. You were always so fascinatingly cool, out of reach, and genuinely yourself. Being in love with your pen pal isn't always an easy thing - the cold sweats I would wake up to after dreaming about meeting for the first time, the constant updates about a life that I wasn't a part of, the announcement of your engagement to another person. I tried to pretend it wasn't real for a long time, see other people, because of how silly I felt about being in love with someone I'd never met.

And then I saw you standing there, in that beautiful white gown with your hair up and that gorgeous smile on your face. Did you know that my hands were sweating when I gave you that gift? I don't think I've ever told you that before. I became certain then that I was completely screwed. Entirely head over heels.

I'll never be happy that that marriage didn't work out for you - all I've ever wanted is your happiness, be that with me or someone else. But I won't lie and say that nothing has made me happier than the consequences of it.

This past year has been the happiest time I've ever known. Every moment with you is filled with such joy, and every moment without I'm left with a record of memories to remind me of the time we've had together. When I look at you, I don't just see my past, but also my future. I see a lifetime of shared experiences, of laughter, or quiet moments that mean more than words ever could. I see us growing old together, supporting each other, and playing trash hockey on the wooden floor of our kitchen.

You are my best friend, my partner, the love of my life. And I want to spent every day making sure you know just how much you mean to me.

So, that being said, will you (Y/n) (Y/l/n), do me the honour of marrying me?

All yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. Please don't feel pressured to say yes, but know that I would really like it if you did.

You fiddle with the precious ring on your left hand, your fingers lingering over the smooth chunk of dark stone in the centre.

A gentle brush of a hand on your shoulders brings you back to the real world, tears now flaking on your cheeks as you sniffle at the words on the page.

"Are you okay, darling?" Seungcheol asks gently.

"Yes, sorry, I know the guests are here now - I just wanted to look at these," You reply, holding up the letters for your husband to see.

You watch his expression soften, a suggestion of moisture in the corner of his eyes as he looks over the written words.

Swooping down, he places a long, loving kiss on your forehead, letting your bodies rest together in harmony for a moment.

"I can't believe they still make me cry," You huff, letting out a soft laugh. "And I don't even think I can brush it off as hormones."

"Seeing that just looking at them has me tearing up, I don't think I can either." Seungcheol smiles, stroking the back of your hair affectionately.

"They're probably getting antsy downstairs, right?" You say, beginning to pile the letters back up into the box.

Standing up, you lean forward to press all of your passion and adoration onto your husband's lips. You can feel his intensity matching yours, his hands finding the side of your hips to keep you stable.

"They can wait," Seungcheol replies, his forehead leaning softly against your own. "They're not the ones who are pregnant after all."

You laugh, a sound filled with both joy and contentment, feeling the warmth of his love surrounding you. "I suppose you're right," you say, a smile spreading across your face. You take one last glance at the box of letters, a testament to the incredible journey you've both shared—one that began with innocent childhood exchanges and blossomed into a love story more profound than you could have ever imagined.

Hand in hand, you and Seungcheol make your way downstairs to greet your guests, the letters safely tucked away in their satin box. As you step into the room, you know that no matter what the future holds, you'll always have those words, those memories, and most importantly, each other.

274 notes · View notes

scribblesofagoonerr · 4 months ago

Text

— Are we there yet? | Glastonbury Series

here's the first part of this small mini series i have been working so hard to create over the past week, this is one of my favourites so i hope you all enjoy it!

massive massive thank you to @alotofpockets and @lvnleah for the ongoing help throughout writing this and putting up with me throwing ideas at them all the time.

pairings: leah williamson x reader!monkey

summary: it's the first day of the festival and monkey's impatient as always to get there, being her usual self and causing chaos no doubt.

you can check out the whole masterlist here: chaos fc masterlist

“Are we there yet?” You question, impatiently as you huff and continue to drag your suitcase across the field that feels like it is never ending to get to wherever you need to go.

You have already asked this question a few times, you’re aware of that but you can’t help but ask it again.

Your suitcase is heavy and you don’t like it, not one bit.

Leah can’t help but roll her eyes from where she’s taken the lead to walk in front, “No— we’re halfway across a field still.” She reminds you, gesturing with her hands to show how far you’ve walked.

Not that far at all, unfortunately.

“My suitcase is heavy!” You whine and complain, doing no more than trying to kick it to see if that helps you to get it further across the field.

It does not.

The blonde in front pinches the bridge of her nose, “Then you shouldn’t have packed so much!” She states, more than used to your antics.

“I can’t help it, I’m an over-packer!” You exclaim in protest, you couldn’t help being excited about this weekend and wanting to pack… Well, pretty much everything that you could think about.

“Well then it serves you right!” Leah remarks, rolling her eyes.

You huff and kick your suitcase again once more, giving it a death glare.

“Come on, we’ll be there soon enough if you don’t complain about it anymore,” Leah jokes, continuing to walk ahead of you.

“Urgh, I don’t like this. I don’t want to walk anymore,” You grumble, less than five minutes later as you had barely made it any more across the wide open field, “Are we there yet?”

Leah exhales a sigh and shakes her head, “Since the last time you asked, five minutes ago? The answer is still very much no, Monkey.”

You let out an inhuman noise that attracts a few looks from people walking past, who probably think you are on something, “Ugh— I can’t anymore. It’s too much!” With that, you do no more than flop down on the floor dramatically and refuse to move any more.

Much to the blonde’s absolute horror over the situation.

“Get up off the floor,” Leah shrieks at you, all but ditching her own case as she tries to pull you up off the ground, “You’re literally in the middle of a field right now!” She states in disbelief.

“But I’m comfy here, and my suitcase is heavy!” You whine and still continue to plant yourself on the floor, because it’s much better than lugging a heavy suitcase across a field in your opinion.

Leah decides to be a buzz-kill about things though, “Monkey, up off the floor. Now!”

“Mean Malfoy!” You grumble in protest.

“Really? I’m being mean?” The blonde towers over you as she scoffs, “Fine, okay then, but you’re the one who’s openly lying in a field that probably has cow muck in it…”

That statement is enough to make you bolt up from the floor as you have slight flashbacks to your adventures in Scotland, “Ew, ew, ew!” You whine and screech at the horror of it.

Leah is openly laughing now and finding the whole scenario hilarious, “Yeah I thought that would get you to get up!” She exclaims, proud of herself for that.

“That’s not funny! I have trauma about Scotland!” You whine and scowl at her, meanwhile she is still laughing her head off about it, “Where’s Derek?” You wonder.

“Wha…” Leah stifles her laughter and looks at you in concern.

“The fluffy cow! You said there’s cow muck round here— that means Derek is here, somewhere!” You automatically put the two together as you now eagerly looked around the open field for your newfound fluffy best friend.

Leah eyes you in disbelief and pinches the bridge of her nose, “Oh for the love of— He’s not going to be here, in the middle of this field,” She tells you, laughing a small bit, “Monkey, come on. Seriously?” She questions.

“But you said this place was a farm— You lied to me!” You gasp in outrage, pointing your finger in her direction.

“I didn’t lie, Monkey,” The blonde tells you as she tries and fails to stifle her laugh, “Do you really expect to see a cow walking round the field, free reign?” She questions, still clearly amused by your thought process.

“His name is Derek, and yes I do,” You’re quick enough to correct her with a mock scowl, “This is outrageous, I’ve had enough! Can we go home now?” You’re all but ready to turn back round and call it quits on the whole weekend.

Although the heavy suitcase does make you think twice about that.

“The weekend hasn’t even started yet,” Leah remarks, still finding the whole thing amusing much your own misfortune about it.

You continue to pout in protest, “But there’s no Derek.”

“No, but there’s music here. That’s enough to be excited about,” Leah reminds you as she beams a wide smile, “And don’t forget you are really excited to watch Scouting for Girls and Avril Lavigne perform, do you really want to miss the chance to see them live?” She questions.

“Eh, it would be better if Derek was here,” You tell her, shrugging your shoulders before you begrudgingly continue her through the field to meet up with the rest of the people here.

“Finally, we’re here!” You breathe a sigh of relief and all but abandon your suitcase now, eventually meeting up with Leah’s cousin and their friends, who you were somewhat familiar with.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, it wasn’t that far!” Leah rolls her eyes and sets her suitcase down before she looks to try and spot her cousin.

You scoff at her in disagreement and shake your head, “It so was, and you made me lug my suitcase over a field!” You accuse her and point your finger at her.

“It wouldn’t have been too bad if you didn’t pack too much,” Leah reminds you teasingly as she ruffles your hair, “Hiya, Hol!” She waves over to her cousin.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Leah’s cousin, Holly, grins as she walks over to her and envelopes her in a hug, “Hi, Monkey. What aren’t you happy about?” She jokes, giving you a side hug.

“Ello’,” You return the hug with the blonde, “Your cousin made me walk so far and I ain’t happy about it!” You exclaim, slightly glaring at the younger blonde between the two of them.

Usually you would be shy around certain members of Leah’s family, like her grandma, but considering you see her cousin a lot more than the others, you have come out of your shell and feel like you can be yourself around them a little more than before.

“Oh she did, huh?” Her cousin teases you.

“She’s being dramatic, she wouldn’t have been complaining so much if she didn’t overpack her suitcase in the first place either,” Leah points out, rolling her eyes in disagreement.

“I see the problem, how much did you pack?” The older blonde turns to look at you in amusement, “Don’t tell me it’s the whole kitchen sink,” She jokes at your expense.

Leah snickers slightly and grins at her cousin, “She would’ve done it if she could fit it in– I found her trying to cram everything in by sitting on top of it,” She turns to look at you and smirk teasingly, “God knows what you actually have in there.”

“Stuff that I need! Like hair straighteners, my hair dryer and hair products!” You all but insist, pouting at the blonde, who’s cracked up laughing.

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Leah questions, not trying to cover her amusement up.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, “No?”

“Monkey, we’re camping! Where… Where on earth do you expect to plug in hair straighteners, or a hair dryer?” The blonde questions, still continuing to laugh aloud, “You can’t plug it in the middle of an open field.” She adds.

“Oh,” You are left dumbfounded now, “I don’t know, I thought there might be places like that!” You protest, throwing your hands up in the air.

By now both of the two blondes’ are in absolute stitches about this and finding it completely hilarious about the situation.

“Oh, Monkey,” Leah speaks through her laughter as she rubs her hand over her face and licks her bottom lip, “What’re you like, eh?”

“I guess you should’ve helped her pack after all, Le,” Holly remarks, shaking her head as she tries to control her laughter, “Oh kid, seriously?” She questions you.

“I… I didn’t think,” You admit, slumping your shoulders and feeling a bit of an idiot about this decision now.

“Well, at least you know now,” Holly jokes and ruffles your hair, using your short height to her advantage, “Shall we put the tent up now?” She wonders.

Leah nods in agreement, “That sounds like a plan– Aye, no, where’d you think you're off too?” She wonders, catching you trying to dip off in the direction when something miraculously caught your attention.

“Over there,” You point in the direction that you want to go, “I wanna check out things I see. They look so cool!”

“We need help with the tent first,” Leah reminds you as groan in annoyance about it and let them be perfectly aware of your feelings about it, “Don’t be giving me none of that, the quicker it’s done then the quicker we can go and have a look around.”

“But I just wanna explore, and this will take forever to put it up!” You whine in frustration, really not liking the whole idea of putting a tent up.

“And there’ll be plenty of time for that when we’re here the whole weekend, but first we need to put up the tent and we need you to help with that,” Leah is of course stern about things like usual and it just makes you want to bang your head up against a wall if there was one in sight, “I don’t want you to wander of either like you always do, especially not here when it’s so crowded!”

“Oh yeah, I heard all about your time in Nashville from Grandma,” Holly chimes in as she laughs in amusement, “You do have a bad habit for wandering off, don’t you, eh?” She jokes.

“No, I’m not that bad!” You can’t help but huff in protest.

“Really? I do beg to differ there, Monkey,” Leah remarks as she shakes her head in disagreement, “I was this close to putting a tracker on you there, either that or a damn leash. So I’m not having that happen here!” Now she’s the point wagging her finger in your face.

“Well at least in Nashville I was able to pet Derek!” You exclaim, thinking back to the adorable fluffy cow that you were so excited to meet, ie, your new best friend.

You wish you could have a fluffy cow as a pet. Wouldn’t that be so cool?

Leah would never go along with that idea though, so it’s probably better to think about a puppy.

“Earth to Monkey?” The said blonde is now waving her hand in front of your face as you jolt at the suddenness of it, “You zoned out a bit there, where’d you go?” She wonders, amusedly.

“I was thinking about Derek,” You confess, shoving your hands in your pocket.

“Wha… Who’s Derek?” Holly asks in confusion.

Leah chuckles and shakes her head, “I– It’s better to not ask.”

“O… Okay then,” Holly agrees with her cousin.

You huff aloud and flop down on the floor, “How long is it gonna take to put up the tent? I wanna explore, listen to music. I wanna get down with the vibe!”

You are pretty excited to watch certain artists perform. It all feels so exciting, so why do you have to wait for them to put a tent up? You could be already watching the live music, right now!

“It’ll be quicker if you help us put it up– Monkey?” Leah states as she realises that you have been side-tracked once again, “Hello, earth to Monkey?” She’s once again waving her damn hand in your face.

“Wha?” You bat it away from you and look at her confused.

“You zoned out there again,” Holly laughs and shakes her head.

“Oh,” You shrug your shoulders carelessly, “Whatcha say?” You question.

Leah exhales a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, “I said it would be quicker if you help us with the tent, rather than just leaving the two of us to do it by ourselves.” She repeats her words.

You huff in protest and reluctantly stand back up, “I still don’t get why we couldn’t stay in a hotel though.”

“We’re getting the whole experience of camping at Glastonbury,” Leah tells you, rolling her eyes as she knew you had a certain dislike for nature, and you really liked being able to have heating and wifi access.

“I wish Buddy could’ve come here with us,” You remark, you know it would be super more fun with your favourite little buddy around, but considering her age, Leah and Jordan discussed it between them and decided it’s better for her to stay with Jordan for the weekend.

You know it would have been great fun with you both here though, for sure!

“Oh yeah, and have the pair of you running around wild? No thanks,” Leah remarks in disagreement as she shakes her head, “It’s bad enough to have to deal with you alone.”

“Wha… What’s the supposed to mean?” Your eyes widen in disbelief, questioning the fact she had the actual audacity to say that right now, “I’m offended! I’m an absolute joy to be around!”

“You know exactly what I mean there– Are you going to help us put up the tent, or leave us to do it by ourselves?” Leah shouts at you to get your attention, considering the fact that you still haven’t helped them yet one bit.

“I’m bored,” You complain, not enjoying having to sit around and wait for the two older women to finish putting up the tent that you had given up on in a matter of minutes.

Well you didn’t go up so to speak, more like Leah accused you of doing it wrong and not even trying to help, before she got annoyed at you and told you to just sit down and not wander off, which you felt a bit offended about at first but then realised it is true.

You do have a terrible habit of just wandering off sometimes.

"Quicker we put the tent up, the quicker we can go listen to the music,” Leah tells you as she notes your general frustration to be anywhere other than where you are currently sitting on the floor while scrolling through Instagram, “What time is Grace on stage?” She questions her cousin.

“Her set starts at 3 o’clock,” Holly tells her, working to help put the tent up which is more than you did so you can’t really say a lot, “It’s the lonely hearts club stage.”

You peer up from your phone to look at them confused, “Wait, Grace is performing… Here? Wow. I had no idea!”

"I literally told you this the other day!" Leah exclaims, looking at you in disbelief.

You continue to look at the blonde confused, "You did?"

"Yes. Glad to see you were paying attention," Leah huffs and shakes her head.

"I must've switched off..." You admit as you shrug your shoulders, you always do have a terrible habit of doing that as well and well, whenever she is usually saying something most of the time it is negative that lands you in trouble.

The blonde clicks her tongue in disapproval, "Yeah, no kidding there, Monkey."

"Usually when you tell me things it's because you're telling me off for doing something I shouldn't be, so sue me for not listen' to you!" You comment, not even trying to hide the cheeky grin of your face as you definitely know you hit a nerve there.

"Unbelievable!" Leah murmurs and shakes her head.

"So, Grace is performing? Yay. That's great. Go, Grace!" You exclaim, clapping your hands in excitement for her as you slowly try to change the subject, although the blonde glaring at you might say differently, “Are you any closer to putting the tent up now?” You question, getting even more border the extra seconds you have to wait.

“A bit longer– Don’t think I will be so quick to forget about what you said then,” Leah warns you as she shakes her head and continues to put the tent up.

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of it,” You remark as you can't help but smirk in amusement, you have to admit it is funny to see the blonde look so annoyed sometimes.

“Careful there, Monkey,” Holly looks between you and her cousin in caution, “Right, we’re just about done with the tent. Let’s go and check out the music now before you say something to end up making things worse, eh?” She jokes.

“Finally! I didn’t even say anything that bad!” You’re quick to insist and shrug your shoulders as you jump up from your spot on the floor, already attempting to head off in a direction even though you have no idea exactly where you are going right now.

“Are you going to put your suitcase inside the tent, or leave it out for people to take?” Leah points out, gesturing to the abandoned luggage on the floor, “No? Guess I’ll do it then– Jesus Christ, Monkey. What the actual hell did you put in here? This weighs a ton!”

“Stuff that I needed, duh. I couldn’t decide what to pack!” You told her, getting further impatient to get to the music so once the tent was zipped up with everything inside, you were keen to drag them towards where you could hear the music, “Do you hear that?” You ask them.

“No,” Holly furrows her eyebrows.

Leah looks at you in concern, “Hear what?”

“The sound of music!” You exclaim, sticking a finger up in the air as you gesture to it, “That means we’re getting closer. Come on!”

“I… I don’t hear anything,” Holly states, confused.

“Then you’re deaf,” You tell her cheekily as you try to run ahead, “Let’s go, let’s go!”

“Monkey, that was rude– Don’t wander off!” Leah is quick to try and catch up with you, taking a grip of your bicep, “I told you it’s going to be crowded and I don’t want to lose you here!”

“We made it!” You cheer aloud in joy after the walk down from where the campsite is.

“We did,” Leah replies in agreement as takes a quick video on her phone, no doubt for her Instagram post dump at the end of it all.

You can’t help but jump in it and stick your tongue out while waving your hands around, “Wassup!”

“I swear you are not normal sometimes, kid,” Holly jokes and shakes her head.

Leah laughs and slides her phone in her pocket, “You’ve only just realised?”

“Hey! I take offence to that!” You scowl at the blonde before you take in the surroundings around you, “Whoa, this place is massive and there’s so many people!” You exclaim in awe.

“There is, so do you see why now I didn’t want you to run off?” Leah remarks, gesturing around to the people around you and you have to admit it is a really big crowd, “I wouldn’t have a chance of finding you at all.”

“But we’d have so much fun playing Marco Polo!” You peer up at the blonde and grin.

“Definitely not, no,” Leah is quick to shake her head in disagreement.

Boo! What an absolute buzz-kill.

Leah’s cousin checks the time on her phone before she puts it back in her pocket, “Grace’s set will be starting soon, we should go and find somewhere to stand,” She states.

“Plenty of space in an open field,” You can’t help but joke with them.

“Hilarious, you should be a comedian, kid,” Holly chuckles in amusement.

“Well, that’s the plan if the football career doesn’t work out,” You grin proudly and shove your hands in your pockets, “I’m hungry!” You complain aloud.

“They have a lot of stuff, we have time to go and grab something first before it starts,” Holly motions to the food vans that you just so happen to be walking past as your eyes lit up at the thought of it all.

You know exactly what you want to eat.

“Yeah, food!” You state as you glance around to figure out if they have what you want, “Ooh, I want to get churros if they have any here!” You declare.

“Oh, no way. We’re not having a repeat of last time,” Leah is very much against the idea as she is reminded of the last time you had churros, “You actually want to make it through all the music acts tonight, don’t you?”

“One won’t hurt!” You whine and huff in protest, while Leah is shaking her head, “Fine, can I get a hot dog then?” You ask, considering that she currently has your bank card in her clutches still.

“That’s a better option,” The blonde agrees, ordering you a hot dog before she pays for it and you’re handed it by the staff member in the stall, “Right, lets’ go and watch the set before we miss it.”

The three of you walk onto the open field in front of the stage where their friend, Grace is set to perform and you have to admit that you are excited to be able to listen to some of her songs, considering you are pretty familiar with a few of them.

“Wow, Grace is awesome!” You exclaim in amazement as you stand there and watch her perform on the stage with her two backing singers, one of them being another one of Leah’s friends you are familiar with, “She’s so good– Wo, go Grace! Slay girl!”

“Grace has her own fangirl,” Holly can’t help but joke in amusement.

“She’s awesome!” You continue to insist, “Her vocals are on point, they’re sick!”

“Sick?” Leah’s cousin continues to mock you before she looks at the former blonde, “Make sure you get this on video for evidence!” She jokes.

Leah chuckles and there indeed she does have her phone out recording you, “I’m already on it.”

Taking the opportunity, you can’t help scowl at them both, “I don’t even care that I am fangirling though! She’s really good!” With that, you still continue to bop your head along to the music and have a grand ol’ time.

Before you knew it, her set was up and according to the schedule you briefly had memory off, the plan was to next watch the Sugarbabes.

Which don’t get you wrong, you are looking forward to seeing them, but you aren’t totally excited about it.

Not like Scouting for Girls.

You are so pumped for that!

“You seriously expect me to get from one stage to another in the space of fifty-ish minutes?” You look at Leah completely gone out, it’s a large field and you have short legs, “That is so long to walk!”

“Yes, come on. We have plenty of time to make it,” Leah states determinedly although this time she is the one trying to pull you in the direction of the stage now, having had a couple of drinks already and you have to say you do sometimes prefer the drunken version of her.

“I don’t feel like running today though, Le!” You continue to complain.

“Oh, you don’t?” Leah chuckles and looks at you amusedly before she leans down so you can have an easy way to jump on her back, “Hop on then.”

Grinning and knowing you got your way, you took a short jump to grip onto the blonde, “Giddy up, horsey!” You joke, patting her shoulder playfully.

“I’ll give you giddy up horsey, you little menace,” Leah shouts loudly as she still gives you a piggy back over to the stage where the Sugarbabes were soon going to perform.

“Yeehaw!” You continue to shout aloud, getting a few strange looks from people walking past you, “We’re here!” You exclaim when you arrive at the stage and you are ever so kindly almost dropped on the floor by none other than Malfoy if it wasn’t for her friends catching you.

How many drinks has she had? Maybe you’ll spare another piggy back from her for a while, cos’ you don’t fancy almost being dropped again.

You do have to admit you get a bit bored waiting around for them to come on stage and you could easily take the opportunity to walk around and listen to other artists, but there are a lot more people here and it feels overwhelming.

You don’t really fancy getting lost in a crowd this big.

“How much longer?” You wonder, trying to figure out how much longer you needed to wait around for them.

“It shouldn’t be much longer,” One of Leah’s friends chimes in from where you stood in the small group of people.

You exhale a sigh in frustration, “It feels like we’ve been waiting for ages!”

“You’re always so impatient,” The blonde jokes, gently patting you on your cheek as she smiles at you.

Maybe you’d be the one carrying her back to the tent tonight if she carries on drinking the way she is going, no thank you.

Finally, the moment came where the Sugarbabes came out onto the stage and there’s a loud volume of noise from the crowd.

Being very much a part of that crowd, you do enjoy bouncing along to the music.

“Can we bring yesterday back around? Cos’ I know how I feel about you now!” You sang aloud, jumping up and down in the spot where you stood amongst Leah, her cousin and their friends.

“And you said you wouldn’t run to make it,” Leah teases, ruffling your hair before she gets hoisted up into the air and ends up on her friends shoulders and she was definitely having the time of her life.

Somehow you definitely think she’s going to continue to drink and enjoy herself more as the night goes on.

That isn’t necessarily such a bad thing though.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #arsenal x reader #woso one shot #scribblesofagoonerr #arsenal women x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #woso #leah williamson x reader #chaos fc #monkey #chaos fc masterlist

145 notes · View notes

whrthewindgoes · 1 month ago

Text

Here is the next chapter to Third Wheel. I’m sorry this took so long to get out but I’ve literally been in my head about posting it 😑 Also sorry if there is are any grammar mistakes or typos I am way too tired to recheck it! But I hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Third Wheel

Series Summary: After a terrible break up with your boyfriend of 5 years, you plan a long visit to Cincinnati to visit your cousin Ja’Marr. This was meant to be a time to catch up and make up for lost time, but no one could predict you’d fall in love with his long time friend and teammate.

Chapter Summary: You’ve made yourself comfortable in your new space for the foreseeable future, now it’s time to spend some much needed time with your cousin Ja’Marr.

Series Warnings: Angst, mentions of anxiety, mentions of cheating, fluff, smut, alcohol, weed (that’s all I can think of right now!)

Chapter Warnings: Angst and anxiety

How did I get here?

You spent the remainder of your first day in Ohio unpacking and making yourself comfortable in your new surroundings. You really didn’t want to do much the first couple of days there, the long travel and flight delays were enough to deplete your energy for the entire weekend. You did however make sure to check in with your parents once you got settled, as you knew they were worried about you. You sent them a text as soon as you landed, but you knew they’d want to hear your voice rather sooner than later. “So yeah, I made it safely despite getting here an entire 8 hours later than I planned.” You were on the phone chatting with your mom while you looked through the spacious walk in closet. It was Sunday night, and you and Ja’Marr made plans to hang out together the following Monday. You had taken the entire week off of work to allow yourself to get acquainted in Ohio, so you were looking forward to some much needed time off with your cousin. You reached into one of the many drawers located in the closet, pulling out a bright pink workout ensemble— a solid pink sports bra with matching seamless tights. “I can wear this with my black jacket.” You mumbled quietly to yourself, forgetting for a moment during the silence that your mother was still on the phone line. “Are you and Ja’Marr going out tonight? Are you picking out something to wear?” Your mom sounded almost a little too eager to hear whether you had plans or not. “We have plans to start tomorrow’s day with a run, and after that we’re going to hang out and see where the day takes us.” You said, folding the outfit neatly and placing it on top of the dresser as you shut the closet door. “A run huh? I remember we couldn’t pay you guys to leave the track when you were back in high school. Remind me again why you ever quit the track team?” You rolled your eyes, not wanting to indulge your mom in this conversation again for what felt like the millionth time. You ran track in high school and you were pretty damn good at it, but an ankle injury kept you from wanting to pursue it longer. You felt like you lost too much time after the injury, and that you were just never good enough. Your parents made sure to remind you of what could have been, even though you really only ever wanted to do it for fun in the first place. “Mom, how many times do I have to say that was the past. Besides, I never wanted track and field to be my entire life. That was a you and dad thing, remember?” You said firmly, reminding your mom of the boundaries you set on this topic previously. “If you say so, K. I just know you would’ve an olympic star had you kept at it.” Your mom was the only one who referred to you as K, and you knew she only used that nickname when she wanted downplay the conversation, or when she disagreed with what you were saying. This was enough to slightly annoy you, and so you hurried to make an excuse to get off the phone in order to avoid any more unnecessary comments from her. “Okay mom, I have to go. I really need to be well rested because you know Ja’Marr, he doesn’t play about his early morning work outs.” “Okay sweetie, I’ll talk to you soon. Let me know how everything goes tomorrow! Love you!” Your mom sounded completely oblivious to the fact that you were slightly annoyed. “Goodnight mom, I’ll tell you all about it of course. Love you too!” You said hanging up quickly. You sighed and sat the phone on the bed, allowing your body to follow suit shortly after. You put your face in your palms and shook your head left to right. “How the hell did I end up here?” You said quietly, running your fingers along your eyebrows simultaneously. You pulled your journal out of the nightstand next to the bed, writing down your thoughts from the last couple of days before turning off the lamp and passing out for the night.

After sleeping for what seemed like 5 minutes, you involuntarily opened your eyes—the bright sun illuminating the entire bedroom. You rub your eyes and allow them to come into focus, spotting Ja’Marr in the corner continuing to pull the curtains open. “Ja’Marr, what the fuck?! What fucking time is it?” You sit up in the bed, placing your right hand over your eyes while your elbow rests on your thigh. You could barely fathom what day it was, let alone why anyone would want to be up as early as it seemed to be. “It’s 6am, sunshine. Let’s go, when I said morning work out I meant morning. Get up! Ja’Marr scoffed, not one bit phased by the fact that he woke you up out of a deep ass sleep. “Yeah and when I agreed to visit, I didn’t think I was signing up for bootcamp! Who the fuck wakes up THIS early to work out?! It’s off season for you!” You glanced at your phone on the nightstand, rolling your eyes when you noticed the clock said 6:09am. “I don’t even think the birds are up this early bro.” You scoffed, dragging one leg around the edge of the bed, hesitant to do the same with the other leg as you wanted to stay cozy in the bed. “Yeah, well I need all the conditioning I can get. I can never be too ready for the start of the season. Hurry up will you?” You glared at him as he started to leave the room to allow you to get ready. “Remind me again why I came here?!” You said raising your voice just enough so he could hear you. You went into the bathroom and got yourself ready for the morning. You tied your hair in a high pony tail with a braid, knowing any other style would just sweat out from running. When you were all dressed, you sat on the edge of the bed lacing up your nikes, grabbing your earbuds and phone from the nightstand before heading out of the bedroom.

You quickly made your way around the house, pacing to the kitchen to grab something to drink. Upon entering, you noticed 2 frosty glasses on the kitchen counter. Ja’Marr entered from around the corner, “I made protein smoothies, can’t run on an empty stomach.” You shot an excited look at him in agreement, making your way over to the counter to take a sip. Your face changed quickly after you tasted the drink, turning your lips up and holding the glass in front of you while looking at it in suspense. “Oh my god, ugh! What the hell is in this?!” You asked Ja’Marr. “What you mean? It’s good, just drink it so we can be on our way!” You plugged your nose and chugged down the rest, making giving a disgusted look at both the texture and the taste. “Yeah okay, tastes like straight up ass if you ask me!” “Yeah you would know exactly what that tastes like huh?” Ja’Marr said laughing, heading toward the front door.

The two of you began by stretching, you paying extra attention to your stretches since it had been quite some time since you had a been on a run. You always kept up with working out, but running was just a different beast for you. You both started the run out steadily paced, Ja’Marr making sure not to have you bite off more than you could chew too quickly. You came up on a short hill, you silently cursing yourself for ever agreeing to this in the first place. “Shit.” You mumbled to yourself, trying your best to keep up with Ja’Marr as he made running up the short hill look extremely easy. You noticed your heart rate increasing, your apple watch alerting you as you reach the peak of the hill. You tried to ignore it, however you could literally hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You quickly removed your earbuds, stopping in your tracks as Ja’Marr paced on. You bent over forward placing your hands on your knees, breathing heavily, your heart rate showing no signs of slowing. You closed your eyes and took an intentional breath, noticing a hand on your back once you let the breath out. “What’s going on? You need a break?” Ja’Marr asked, sounding sincerely concerned. “I don’t know…I just. I think it’s too much.” Ja’Marr gave you a look as if a lightbulb went off in his head, realizing this was probably the first time you had been on a run since your high school track days. He knew how much pressure your parents put on you to succeed, essentially sucking the fun out of the task at hand. “Hey, this is just for fun. No pressure, no strings. Just go at your own pace, don’t worry about all the other bullshit.” You took a couple more deep breaths, remembering how much you used to love running before your injury. You took a few more moments to catch your breath and calm down. You gave a slight smile and nodded in agreement, slowing leaning back into the run to not overwhelm yourself. After about an hour of what seemed like torture with the sun beaming on your bodies, both of you decide to head back toward the house.

There was noticeable silence as you both tried to catch your breath and cool down. “What happened back there?” Ja’Marr spoke quietly, breaking the silence between you two. You sighed before replying, “I think I just got in my head too much. My mom brought up the whole track thing last night, and all of a sudden I remembered what she said as I was running and it just triggered me I guess.” Ja’Marr shot you a sympathetic look, “I never understood why Rob and Elaine put so much pressure on you. You don’t have to do everything damn near perfect.” he said. “Ha! Tell them that. Sometimes I almost wish I had a sibling to take some of the pressure off me.” You replied to him, stopping in your tracks as you heard your phone chime with your watch simultaneously. You pulled out your phone and instantly smiled when you saw the name on the screen, one of your longtime friends Jessica had sent you a text. “How is Ohio treating you so far? Call me tonight and tell me all about it!” You thought about sending a long winded text to unpack everything that has gone down so far, including the unnecessary comments from your mother. However, you were exhausted from the run and desperately needed food and to rest, so you decided to keep it short and sweet. “Everything is great so far, different than being home for sure. Text me when you’re home from work later and we can facetime!” You replied to Jessica, including a simple heart emoji to follow up. You and Jessica had become close during your sophomore year in high school, and while you both went to different colleges, you managed to maintain your close relationship. Jessica was one of those friends you could go days without talking to, and then pick up where you left off like nothing happened. She was one of the only close friends that you felt you really had left after breaking up with your ex. Unfortunately a lot of the friends you acquired during college were friends that Sean (your ex) introduced you to. It was simply too awkward to keep things going with these friends after the break up, and quite frankly the basic nature of the friendships just simply weren’t worth the trouble. It was fun while it lasted, but you craved more genuine friendships with people whom you felt like you could be yourself around. Being around Sean’s friends always felt like added pressure, and you never really realized it until everything was over.

You and Ja’Marr finally made it back to the house, and you could not wait to shower and eat something, considering the only thing you consumed this morning was the disgusting smoothie he made. You were headed back to your room when he stopped you and asked, “Let’s go to brunch or something, like old times? I’m starving and I know you are too, since you were hating on my smoothie earlier.” Your eyes lit up, “You read my mind, I am literally dying for food. Let me take a quick shower and I’ll be ready in 20!” He nodded and walked the opposite way. You walked back to your room swiftly, desperate to get out of your sweaty clothes and get ready to head out. After quickly showering and picking out a cute pair of high waisted jeans with a baby blue crop top, you headed into the closet to pick out a pair of shoes. You hadn’t gotten the rest of your things shipped from your parents just yet, so you only had a few options. You brought just enough shoes that you could match up with just about anything, so you settled for your white high top converse. Your fitted jeans accentuated the curves on your body, your skin just slightly peeking through your crop top. You did a once over to check your outfit in the mirror, before undoing the braided ponytail in your hair and fluffing out your soft curls. You gave your roots a quick tease to add volume, put on some shiny pink lip gloss and grabbed your purse and phone to head out to the living area to see if Ja’Marr was ready. Upon walking near the living room, you see him leaning against the wall as if he had been waiting there for quite some time. “You know, after so many years I forgot that 20 minutes to you is actually an hour!” He teased. “Oh come on, it was no where near an hour! More like 45 minutes!” You laughed, admitting that you took way longer than you expected. “Same difference, let’s go before you take even more time and we end up having to skip to dinner.”

You both headed out and took a quick car ride downtown. It dawned on you that you hadn’t even bothered to ask him where you were going, as you were starving and could honestly eat anything at that point. You ended up at a local spot that was very small and quaint. Obviously Ja’Marr was well known so you knew he wouldn’t want to go anywhere too public, so this place was perfect as it was a weekday morning and wasn’t crowded at all. You both ordered brunch and sat talking for over an hour, both enjoying each others’ conversation and catching up. “You know, it’s so weird because I feel like everything is coming full circle.” You said, putting the cup of coffee you were nearly finished with down on the table in front of you. “You always had this dream of being an athlete, and I had no doubt you could do it. It’s just so crazy that it’s actually happened! To me you’re still just the same ol’ Ja’Marr that I grew up with. Goofy, annoying as hell, and funny!” You said giggling. “Chill with the insults okay, you’ve only been here a couple days and already with the name calling.” He laughed along with you. “But yeah, it’s definitely a night and day difference from how my life used to be. I’m just glad I can take care of the people I care about now.” You replied with a smile, glancing up when you noticed the waitress coming by the table to give you guys the bill. You barely had time to reach into your bag before he interrupted— “Absolutely not! I got it Kenz.” He said removing his wallet from his pocket, placing his card on top of the bill. “I wouldn’t let you pay for stuff when I was broke, so why would I let you pay now?” He said, giving you a puzzled look. “I mean I don’t know, I’m only an adult and I can pay for myself?” You said back sarcastically. “But thank you for brunch, if I haven’t said it already I really appreciate everything you’ve already done for me in such a short amount of time.” He smile and nodded, “It’s really nothing, you know I’d do anything for you!”. Once the bill was paid, you both headed back to the car, chatting it up on the way there. “So, I know it’s still early in the week, but I was thinking maybe we can have a bbq with some of my teammates at the house this weekend? A lot of them are coupled up, it’ll give you a chance to meet some of their girls.” You didn’t think twice about it, “That was seriously be so fun. I’m dying to meet the people you’ve been spending all your time with! Plus, I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve done anything in a social setting that didn’t involve my parents.” You joked. “Good, I’ll set it up for this weekend then. I’ll get the guys on board and let you know once I have all the details.” You were low key excited, you were a planner deep down and you loved nothing more than getting together with all of your friends. Although this was going to be with Ja’Marr’s friends, you were eager to meet some other girls that you could possibly spend time with. After all, you didn’t know how long you would be here in Ohio, and you didn’t want to spend all your time being cooped up under Ja’Marr.

It seemed like the rest of the afternoon flew by. You took a long nap once you got home from brunch and woke up to an empty house. Ja’Marr sent you a text letting you know he was going to hang out with his teammate Tee, but he would be back later that night around dinner time. You spent the time alone on your phone, scrolling through social media mindlessly. You looked up at the time and realized it was nearing 5pm, and you were starting to get hungry again. Suddenly, you had a great idea to make dinner for you and Ja’Marr since he was currently out with Tee. You hopped up and strolled to the kitchen, going to see what you could possibly throw together in a short amount of time. After looking through Ja’Marr’s extensive pantry, along with his fridge, you found a few items but nothing that went together. “This kid literally has nothing but protein supplements and junk food. How does he survive off this?” You stared looking into the fridge, trying to come up with options. “Oh! I got it!” You said to yourself, grabbing your phone to place a quick delivery order for groceries. Ja’Marr had a few things you could work with, like rice and a few vegetables. You remembered he loved Asian food, so you decided to whip together a chicken stir fry. You were however missing the main ingredient, chicken, so you had to place a delivery order for that, along with a couple items you needed to make a stir fry sauce. Once the order arrived, you began whipping the meal together, as cooking was one of your favorite things to do. It only took about 30 minutes to cook, and it was perfect timing because you heard the back door opening as soon as you grabbed bowls from the cabinets. “You order takeout?” Ja’Marr said stepping into the kitchen, removing his hat and oversized hoodie. “Um, no. You’re never going to believe this but I….COOKED! You know that thing where you heat up the stove, and chop up ingredients to make a meal? Yeah that!!!” You couldn’t help but laugh at your own sarcasm. You knew he wasn’t a chef by any means, but you thought with him being a big time NFL player that he would at least keep the fridge well stocked. “How do you even survive?!” You asked him as you were placing the stir fry into the bowls. “I order out, it works.” He shrugged. He always had a fast metabolism which you envied. You side eyed him and sat at one of the barstools at the counter, both of you finishing your dinner while chatting about the upcoming bbq. “I’m excited to actually hang out with people my age ya know? I feel like I’ve been stuck with my parents since the whole break up ordeal.” You said getting up from the barstool, taking both your empty plate and Ja’Marr’s to the kitchen sink. “Yeah you never know maybe it’ll give you the chance to make some new long time friends. Especially since you don’t really have a timeline on how long you wanna stay and all.” You nodded in agreement, quickly tidying up the kitchen and excusing yourself to go call your friend Jessica as you both promised to talk this evening. You thanked Ja’Marr again for brunch earlier that day, and for spending time at dinner with you. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to be able to have a conversation with someone that was about something other than your ex. You felt like it was all your parents ever brought up, and although you and Jessica were close, she still didn’t know the full picture of what happened between you and Sean.

You entered your room and took a seat on the bench, putting your legs up to your chest to cozy up before dialing Jess on FaceTime. She quickly answered after just one ring, “MACKENZIE! I feel like it’s been way too long. Tell me everything, how is Ohio so far?! Have you met any cute boys yet?! Are you totally living the lavish lifestyle now?! Don’t forget about us little people!” She fired off, barely giving you 2 seconds to interject her. “Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now. I’ve only been here a few days, no I have not met any cute boys. And before you say anything, no Ja’Marr does NOT count” Jess had met Ja’Marr a few times a long time ago, and she kept her innocent crush on him no secret at all. “Okay, no one was even thinking that but I mean since you brought it up…” She giggled in response, covering her hand with her mouth trying to hold back her laugh. “Okay but no seriously,” Jess continued “How are you? Have you talked to your parents at all?” she asked with a slightly concerned look. “I talked with them yesterday, well mainly my mom. And you know how she is, always bringing up the past and insisting on focusing on my wrongdoings. But besides that, things are going really well. I’ve just been trying to get comfortable here, it’s so weird because everything is so different with Ja’Marr from the last time I saw him. I mean I’ve seen him since he’s been in the NFL, but things have definitely blown up since then. His house is incredible! I can’t believe it took me this long to come visit.” You said as you let your legs hang off of the bench, coming out of the UGG slippers you were wearing. “Well in your defense, you both had a whole lot going on. I always tell you everything happens for a reason and I think it’s the perfect time for you to be somewhere new, especially at this point in your life.” She gave a comforting smile, appearing to walk into her kitchen and pour a glass of wine. “It look me a long time to get to the point of accepting that I needed a change of scenery, but I’m glad I did. Ja’Marr is even throwing a bbq this weekend so I can meet some of his teammates’ girlfriends.” You stood up from the bench, pacing back and forth as you and Jess continued your chat. “Teammates’ girlfriends huh? What about the teammates?” Jess said with a smirk. “Oh do not start with me Jess, absolutely not!” You laughed, ever since your break up, Jess was trying to throw you at the nearest attractive man she could find for you. “I mean you never know Kenz, I’m just sayin’….you know they say the quickest way to get over one guy is to get undernea—“ You quickly interrupted her before she could finish her sentence “Okayyyy! And on that note I think it’s time for me to get ready for bed. I love you girl! You should seriously come visit me once I get settled.” “Oh I definitely will, I love you too Kenz! Please, call me tomorrow if you’re not too busy?” She said giving you a pouty look. “Of course Jess, goodnight!” You both blew a kiss to each other and hung up the FaceTime call. It was so refreshing to laugh with Jess, she has always lightened the mood even when you felt at your worst. After the call you quickly made yourself comfy in your bed, passing out for the night without a care in your mind.

Hope y’all enjoyed this chapter! Who’s ready for Mackenzie to meet Ja’Marr’s teammates?! 😉 The next chapter hopefully won’t be as long so we can get to the good stuff already!

Taglist: @toterry

#joe burrow #joe burrow fic #fanfic #my fic #jamarr chase

32 notes · View notes

callipraxia · 7 months ago

Text

Further Interview Analysis: the "Ford Plan," and Bill's Blind Spot

I didn’t sleep again the night after the “musical Weirdmageddon” post, and wrote a lot of loopy stuff the next day, and posted none of it. But then I slept, so yay, time for an attempt at some actual analysis! Original interview is, as before, here, with credit and thanks to @fordtato and @hkthatgffan.

"I think that Bill was trying to find Ford, but I think- I always think of Bill as like, this guy who has, like - you know, he’s stirring the pot of soup that is the Ford plan, and he’s got like 900 pots of soup across the universe of different things he’s working on, and at any given moment, he’s so cocksure that it’s all gonna work his way eventually."

Bill’s a trillion years old, so it’s like, Ford disappearing for thirty years is like- [snaps fingers] is like somebody saying they’re ghosting you and then texting you the next weekend, you know what I mean? He’s like- he’s like [handwave] “Ford’s gonna- Ford’s gonna be back. Ohh, [air quotes] we had such a big fight, Ford’s sooo mad at me,” oh, you know, “our will-they-won’t-they-take-over-the-universe relationship, like, he’s gonna- he’s gonna march off in a huff, and he’ll be back, ‘cause we’re- is Ford gonna find anyone else in the multiverse that strokes his ego as well as me?” Is there anybody else in the universe that’s gonna make Ford feel as important as Bill? No, of course not, Ford needs validation, and so Bill knows Ford’s gonna be back eventually.

...so, Bill still had a "Ford plan," did he? Like, some active plan that involved using Ford in some way to escape the Nightmare Dimension? Interesting.

I always interpreted his cliche-villain-gloating routine when Ford confronts him about being a liar as the point where Bill was ready to discard Ford altogether. If he had wanted to - if he could have been bothered - after all, he probably would have had a very high chance of somehow manipulating Ford out of the realization that he'd been played: Ford had been literally worshiping Bill a few days earlier. He was basically a cultist, and he was not only someone who'd spent way too long talking to Bill, he was also someone who could only confront Bill on Bill's turf, so to speak. But Bill didn't even try to turn it all around, because (ran my reasoning) he'd gotten what he really needed: the Portal existed, and you can't close Pandora's box. The technology was there. It would not, from Bill's trillions-of-years perspective, have taken very long to find some way to manipulate someone else into rebuilding the Portal once it existed even given Ford's attempts to hide the plans. Bill was scribbling on the Journal in invisible ink after Ford's last entry, before he buried it but after he wrote all about his plans in some detail, even drawing a map to J2. The Journal separation plan would have been laughably easy for Bill to work around. So at that point, I assumed that the only reason Bill didn't arrange for Ford to - if I may be blunt - kill himself the first time he blacked out was because Bill was basically getting off on the psychological torture and wanted to see how long he could keep it going/enjoy himself until Ford literally died of exhaustion. Ford certainly seems to think he'd have been killed if he had lost the game of 'hide and seek' in the asteroid field. I thought the idea that "Bill used Ford until he used him up, and now he was done with him" was basically canon, and that Bill paid no more attention to him from that point onward than you would pay to a broken Solo cup in the trash until Ford did something unexpected - ie, survived the Multiverse, came back with a death ray, apparently took out a few Henchmaniacs, almost shot Bill himself, and then survived the experience.

But here we have what I suppose amounts of authorial commentary which seems to directly contradict the idea that Bill didn't even regard Ford was worth finding and/or killing. Bill was looking for Ford, all those years - not all that intently, apparently, or really very long from Bill's point of view, of course, but still - and Bill still had a plan for Ford. Bill also, if I'm reading that right, seems to have really just expected Ford to come back, of his own free will, to join him eventually, not to kill him.

Of course, it's possible I'm reading that wrong, and Bill just knew that killing him would also give Ford a massive ego boost and that Ford would have to eventually reenter his orbit in order to attempt to do so. It's also true that Bill just not being able to accept rejection in no way, by itself, implies he wasn't planning to go "hahahaha, no" and kill Ford fifteen seconds after he finished begging Bill for forgiveness. But the 'Ford plan' bit seems to undermine that. Let's assume the hesitations and half-sentences are Hirsch improvising, not Bill actually cutting off a thought he might not like the end of. So was Bill genuinely never planning to kill Ford after he bumbled into the Nightmare Realm back in '82? And if not - what in the world was he planning to do to him once one of the Henchmaniacs caught him, then? And why do I have the feeling that whatever it was would have made murder seem both a) kind and b) not at all disturbing by comparison?

Also gives us, in a way, some insight into Bill. Kinda. We've always known that there's this...level, this very deep, seldom-relevant but very important level, on which Bill doesn't quite understand how people work. We see it primarily in the mistakes that Bill makes with Stan and Mabel. Maybe there was nothing he could have said or done in the situation with Stan to save himself, Stan had reached the point of literally suicidal determination and there's really not much you can do to budge someone at that point and especially not once their consciousness has already caught fire, but with Mabel - in Sock Opera, all Bill needed to do to win was keep his mouth shut for three more seconds. He was clever enough to see how Dipper and Mabel's relationship could be exploited to get Dipper to do what he wanted, but he did the exact opposite of what he should have done to get Mabel to do what he wanted, because for one thing he underestimates Mabel and for another...it comes back to that elusive Thing that Bill can't or won't understand about the deeper levels of humans. Or maybe it's Things, plural, and a distinct one for each person, but there's something there at the bottom of the personality that Bill apparently can't jive with.

With Ford, for instance, he clearly underestimates the power of genuine self-hatred and remorse. Bill may feel bad in some way about what he did to his homeworld, but look at the actual words of the Axolotl's prophecy: he feels that way not because he has realized at some point that what he did was fundamentally wrong, but because he wants to go home and can't. Essentially, his regret is for his own inconvenience. And in a lot of ways, I can see how that could have translated into him feeling he did, in fact, know all he needed to know to push Ford's buttons, because while it's never spelled out for us, it seems, based on his habit of carrying around family photographs on his person apparently since college despite not getting on well at all with his family, that there was maybe some tiny part of Ford that also wanted to "go home," and not just to flip off the town. Ford was also someone who deeply feared the consequences of his actions, if you read between the lines in the Journal - his worries about a 'Close Encounter' with the government, his scrawling that he must not lose his nerve on some early Portal notes, his talking more and more about Fiddleford losing his nerve in a way that starts seeming kind of projection-y - and Bill could certainly understand that fear perfectly well: we see Bill panic outright in the finale when he realizes he's out of options he's going to remotely like. In the unlikely event Stan would or even could save him, Stan obviously wouldn’t have done so so on Bill's own terms: Bill would have been stuck making an honest deal for once, or else left with the options of "die" and "take a one-in-a-million shot and do his invocation of the 'Ancient Power,' possibly putting himself squarely into the hands of an enemy whose full aims he probably does not know." But then, that's Bill's flaw - the things that drove him to become what he did were revenge and the fear of Death, of the ultimate loss of control. His arrogance makes him think he can take most any situation, no matter how disadvantageous it might seem, and twist it around sooner or later, but Death - well, that's it, ain't it? Or, as Horace might say in a really old translation:

When life is o'er, and Minos has rehearsed The grand last doom, Not birth, nor eloquence, nor worth, shall burst Torquatus' tomb.

(Horace, Ode 4.7. The Odes and Carmen Saeculare of Horace. John Conington. trans. London. George Bell and Sons. 1882.)

Bit different from most translations I've read, but close enough and in the public domain I believe, so we'll go with that. It's possible that Bill's...unique...state of existence may actually make dying an even more terrifying prospect for him than it for the rest of us. He became what he was to escape limitations, including mortality - but after all that killing and burning and transformation, he found out that he might not ever die, but that he could still be destroyed. And even when he found his own 'territory', it started decaying around him, which proved that dimensions, too, can die even if nobody is apparently actively trying to destroy them. What happens to him then? That's what he's afraid of, and he cannot quite grasp that others might be able to overcome that fear in service of either another principle or another fear. That's where he keeps running into trouble in the series timeline, too. It never occurred to him that Gideon might have enough humanity to want Mabel to actually care about him, instead of just about possessing her - much less that Gideon could want that enough to risk death for it. It was inconceivable to him that Dipper and Mabel could voluntarily turn their backs on even a blatantly false paradise to willingly walk into a living hell, just because it was the right thing to do. And as for Ford and Stan....

Well, on one level, he's right about Ford. When he met Ford, they did have certain things in common: frustration, ambition, deep and secret regrets, loneliness, and fear of facing the consequences. Ford's desire for respectability and honor from those who had rejected him his whole life may have extended this even further for him than it went for Bill in some ways: he couldn't even admit to himself that what he was doing was totally self-interested, whereas Bill, like Stan, has long since come to terms with his own selfishness. And like Bill, Ford probably didn't even have the ability to see that no matter what he did, it would never be enough, and would never really satisfy him. But death? Ford doesn't fear death. Never really has, as far as I can tell, but he certainly doesn't now. The way he lives his life, the man might as well be courting death - sending it roses every week and buying all its drinks at the bar, so to speak. He and Bill both fear the consequences of their actions, but 'consequences' are a category, and it's just as possible to be afraid to live as it is to be afraid to die. And Stan...Stan is harder to be sure of. Certainly Stan's priority is always for self-preservation. He's probably depressed to some degree, and he will risk life and limb without hesitation when he perceives a threat to that which he loves, but that's something that usually happens in a crisis. He doesn't hesitate because he doesn't think about what he's doing, which is what makes the Final Deal such an incredible gesture for me - he not only had plenty of time to think about what was going to happen, but he had to actively take steps himself to enable it to happen. To me, at least, that seems the hardest thing...but then, the whole situation in the Fearamid is one that brings to mind some of my worst fears, to the point that I find the scene difficult to watch and I almost scrapped an entire 22,000-word story once just because it required me to write about a small part of it. I'm sure Bill risked death, in some fashion, to become what he is, and I'm sure he was afraid of failure every time - but he was less afraid of a bad outcome that might come from leaping at the chance for some semblance of life, any semblance of life, no matter what that might look like or how long the odds might be, than he was of doing what he knew would lead to...wherever even destructible gods go, when they go. This is why the Stans were the thing he couldn't account for, really. He couldn't conceive of having a priority higher than self-preservation, of overcoming his worst fear - and that was what destroyed him. Maybe, anyway.

It's sort of funny, actually - I started writing a completely different post yesterday about how to develop a new character based on some of Hirsch's remarks, and in the course of it, I made the remark that I found it hard to fathom how you could write any of Gravity Falls, at all, without knowing ahead of time that it is the story of (if I can make so bold as to quote my own story's dialogue) "the Faustus of New Jersey and His Knucklehead Brother and the Hazard Sign From Hell," and without at least a fairly good understanding of who those three people are and how they got there. If one looks at the story that way, I suppose you could say the events after their starting situation are also the story of these three being thrown up against the places where their real deepest fears lie, and seeing who has something he really, really will not compromise on...or at least, it did at the start of this paragraph. But did any of them, really? Bill blatantly fails that test, of course - Bill runs, just like he's been, in a way, running for his entire miserable existence. Ford comes close to what might have been a couple of breaking experiences for him - either surrendering to Bill or, had the memory wipe worked the way he thought it would, with living with whatever the fallout of essentially killing his brother would have been - but the universe was kind and stacked the deck just enough to let him cheat his way out of that one, at least for the most part. But what about Stan? He didn't want to die, but we already knew that he'd risk it for the kids, because we've seen him do that before. The way he went about it this time arguably took more courage than the others, when he just went in swinging at an immediate and obvious threat, but it was still an escalation on an established thing. Stan's real worst fear isn’t death - it’s of being alone again, of losing his family. That's the principle that overrides self-preservation for him. What would have happened if he'd been in Ford's shoes - required to take up the role not of the sacrifice, but of the one who performed it, giving up one member of the family to save the others? Could he have done that?

...though that is wandering from the topic I was originally talking about, isn't it. Which was that yeah, Bill is, in his way, as fallible as anyone else despite his immense resources - which is gonna be a fun topic to get into when I get around to the post in this series about writing higher intelligences, but that's also not the point, which was that Ford was never going to go back to Bill the way Bill thought he was, because Bill's inability to understand other people's ability to do things that he can't is a serious blind spot for him. It's the thoughts he can't have that doom him (probably...hopefully, anyway...), fortunately for the rest of us.

#gravity falls #gravity falls characters #ford pines #stan pines #bill cipher #gravity falls analysis #inspired by the Hirsch interview #rambling happened #my ramblings

112 notes · View notes

keelt9 · 2 months ago

Text

Chapter 10 (Final)

A/N: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. 🧡

I’ve been thinking about an epilogue but I don’t know, I don’t want to mess up anything, so I’ll keep that in mind.

I’ll write to you soon.🧡

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Masterlist

The fireworks it's my item on the photo wall. Now every photo on my wall, metaphorically or literally has a firework on it.

"Ready?" Mom softly knocks my door perking in it.

It's the conference game for the championship, Joe didn't have to ask if I was going to be there or not.

"Yes, one second." I just revealed new photos for my wall and my favorite by far is the one his mother took from us playing under the moonlight in his parents backyard, a lot of snowballs.

Archie it's definitely at the limit of his excitement. Joe insisted we must watch the game from the box, so each second Archie expanded his smile. By the half of the game the Bengals were up by a touchdown and my throat feels pretty sore already.

All week Joe has been fully focused and still makes his time to call me from time to time, both of us have been busy with work lately.

"There you are!" Leah raises her phone, a picture of me chatting with Joe in his warm ups appears on the screen. "Joe Burrow's girlfriend on the field in a lovely moment."

I chuckle because the photograph took pretty well the angle of my kissing his lips as he pulls me by my waist.

"Joe definitely will want that." Mrs. Burrow hugged me with a proud smile.

The last quarter was a cardiac one; Bills came closer to them leaving them the Bengal up just for one point and our faces speak for ourselves, we're dying of nervousness.

A turnover of B.J let them keep the ball for the rest of the quarter, if the OL kept him covered he would work to increase the difference of points. Joe scanned the field with urgency feeling already tackles over him, he threw a dime finding Chase but with our bad eyes it seems he didn't get the ball before fall.

"I can't see." I hid on Peter's shoulder covering my eyes, hearing the awful silence.

>IT GOT HIM! First and goal for the Bengals.

The crowd in Paycor turns wild; when I lift my eyes, Joe is totally fired up, he just has to do what he knows, be him.

The final score light on 31-24, they're the Champions of the AFC one more time; in the box screams and claps couldn't wait. Neither I, who runs down to the field, can't wait for him.

As I reached the field a lot of family and friends were coming too. Among the crowd cameras and reporters I found Joe congratulating Zach, by the time he opened his eyes I was already waiting for him.

"Babe!" He let his helmet go down and lift me in a big hug. "You did it!"

He breathes in on my neck as I close my eyes feeling so distant the noises and cameras of us.

"Go, I just want to hug you but people are waiting for the champions." He chuckles, kissing me deeply.

"Don't you dare to move from here." He said point where I'm standing. "Love you!"

Seeing him standing with a trophy however looking for me in the crowd confirms, some risks are totally worth it.

Pam surprised me with balloons falling from the door, a cake in her hands and a loud “Happy birthday!”

“Make a wish!” I close my eyes blowing the candle. “Yeah.” Pam leaves the cake on my desk and hugs me softly.

“Thank you.” I hug her and I see the bag on my chair. “Pam.”

“Open it. I hope you like it.” I took the bag immediately and I knew what it was.

“Oh my, you don’t have too.”

Months ago when we were doing our Christmas shopping I saw an old camera in an antiquity store. I refused to buy it because the shoppings was left me without money but Pam has a good memory.

We chat a while before we have to come back to work about my plans for the day and if my family is coming.

“You’re parents?” I shake my head. My parents want to come but in 3 weeks I have a Monday off so I decided to go home for the weekend. “Peter is out of question, kid in the school. Joe?”

After the loss of the Super Bowl, Joe decided to spend that week alone. He explained to me right now, not even from himself is the most nice company and doesn't want to ruin my birthday. That’s the issue, the SB, turns out to be a weekend before your birthday.

“Joe is busy with all the post things game.” I tried not to sound concerned but Pam knows me well.

“Still mad?” Pam sits one more time.

“It’s not mad, he has been a little too hard on himself.” The knock on my door interrupted our talk.

In the door appear a big bouquet of flowers and a balloon, and an amazing writer holding them.

“Happy birthday!” Lucy enters pulling her boyfriend who is holding a box with a big ribbon on the top of it.

“Lucy! I thought you'd come until next week.” I stand for she and her boyfriend wish me a happy birthday.

“I am, this is a small…” She thinks in her words. “Stop.”

Her boyfriend laughed and explained she didn't want to miss my birthday even if it’s just for giving me a hug.

“I hope you like it, if Lucy gave enough time, I could do something better.” I open the box inside an embroidered sweater with my favorite colors.

After all it seems it’s going to be a good day. “It’s fantastic and the flowers, perfect, thank you so much.”

Claire orders me that if I don't take the day of my birthday at least I should go home earlier and rest, but Lucy warns me about something she will bring and I want to progress in all I can. By 7 pm, I found Claire leaving the office too. She scolded me about not leaving earlier, and still she wished me a happy birthday.

“I’m talking seriously Y/N, the food will arrive at your apartment. I’ll know if you don’t go right there.” Claire “threatened” me with her cellphone while walking to her car. “Don't make me take away your promotion.” I giggle, waving my hand to the other side of the parking lot.

As I get in the elevator I keep replaying the video of Archie singing me a happy birthday as my brother plays the piano and Nora signs along with him too; at the end Archie walks closer to the camera holding it blowing a kiss, “I love you aunt” was the last thing you could hear.

Probably I should do what Claire told me and leave earlier for rest; my neck is really tense, while I walk to my apartment I grab it and move in circles trying to make it more loose.

Inside a warm light it’s in the middle of the hallway, as you walk closer you can see it’s a cupcake with a candle.

“I’m sorry that is not enough, right?” Joe appears in one of the doors of the bedroom, puffy eyes sing that he probably hasn’t slept well.

I choke my head and open my arms. “Isn’t even necessary, I understand.” Joe sighs deeply. “However, I don't mind a birthday hug.”

Joe chuckles and lifts me in one big hug, hiding his face on my neck. “Happy birthday babe.” He whispered to me.

"I need that photo." After a long days of endless activities Joe finally has a day of rest before another week of meetings and talks begins.

"That's mine, sorry." I show him the new pictures on my wall, especially the one of the warm ups of the Championship.

It’s late at night, Joe had me next to him, my legs over his lap. In a quick move he tried to take the photo of my hands so now I'm completely under him.

"Ok, ok, god, you're heavy! But one condition." He narrowed his eyes.

"Anything." A mischievous smile makes him choke his head, grabbing my things as he sits back with me in his laps.

"No! It's not that! Oh my god!" He clicked his tongue. "Be serious with me.”

Joe shakes his head and nods. "Don’t be so hard on you." Joe grabs my face pulling out foreheads closer.

"I love you." He kisses my lips then looks straight to my eyes; I see his blue eyes full of love.

I kiss his forehead. "I love you too.” I take a deep breath grabbing his face. “You know I do anything for that smile right?"

"Yes ma'am, now give me the photo." I laughed and gave him the photo winning a breathless kiss.

The next morning Joe was surprised about the fact I actually didn't take a day off for my birthday not before and of course not after it.

“But it’s your birthday.” I’m searching my blazer in the closet as he follows me like a lost puppy.

“Was, it was my birthday.” I found it. “I have to go, but hey, in 3 weeks I have a day off and I’ll be Cinncinati, ok?”

I give him a peck before going. “No, no, no, wait.” He grabs my hand. “Are you sure? I mean…” He tosses his hair. “I have to go this afternoon, I was expecting to celebrate…”

“I promise, now I have to go or I’ll be late.” I check my watch. “Love you!” I scream before closing the door Joe pouting waving his hands.

Like Lucy promised, as soon as she “officially” came back, she entered my office with papers of multiple colors in her hand; she said she had a lot of ideas but nothing clear, so she was hoping for a helpful eye. That’s how I spend 3 weeks between Lucy’s work and a few manuscripts I have to deliver to Claire.

“Anyway, I’ll be a call away, ok?” It’s my last call of the day. “Yes, Lucy, I got it.” Pam enters her purse on her shoulder ready to go. “Ok, bye.”

I laid back in my chair hearing Pam giggle. “Are you leaving today?” I move my finger, yes.

I bought my ticket for the middle night, hoping to spend a little bit more time with Joe but out of the blue he has to do his chek ups out of Cincinnati, he expects to be there in 2 days.

“My bags are there.” I point to the corner of my office, Pam laughs. “I’ll call a cab after going to dinner.”

“Let’s go, this is on me.” Pam stands grabbing my bags.

In the elevator both of us realize this is the first time she and I take an extra day at the same time.

“You think Clare is going to be fine?” Pam asks, we look at each other and chuckle.

By the morning, I have 6 hours of sleep and a stomach growling. When I go down I see my parents making breakfast.

“What are you doing here?” Mom scoffed at me moving around the kitchen.

“Good morning to you.” Dad laughs taking out from the oven bread for sandwiches. “The coffee shop has a little issue.”

I look at them, dad nods and clarify. “We’re painting so it’s been closed for a couple of days, nothing serious.”

Mom put a plate with fruit in front of me. “What are your plans for the day?” I sit turning around in the stool.

“I was expecting to have a full day with my boyfriend, then go to have dinner with Leah but apparently they’re busy.” My days off aren't going as I plan. “So nothing, do you have something in mind?”

My parents look at each other like they’re in trouble. “You have plans, right?”

“Mrs. Carmichael, invite us to domino night, so we’re hoping…not it’s ok we can cancel it.” I shake my head, I don’t want to ruin my parents night.

“No, please go, I’ll find out what to do. Tomorrow we can spend the day together.” My dad kissed the top of my head.

“We hope that.” I narrowed my eyes, they probably had plans too.

My day passed watching old films, cleaning my old room and sleeping from time to time; my parents were ready to go around 9 pm, arguing about something in the coffee shop.

“You should check it before closing.” Mom complains coming downstairs.

“I’ll go and meet you with Mrs. Carmichael, don’t worry.” Dad tried to calm her but her eyes only scream more anger.

I roll my eyes. It seems I finally have the chance to do something else. “What happened?”

Mom sighs. “Your dad forgot the keys of the house in the coffee shop and guess what? Yes, from the car too.”

Mrs. Carmichael doesn’t live more than 2 blocks away, so her anger must be because they have to wake me up to getting in.

“It’s all right, I will go for them, besides I want to have dinner outside.” Mom was about to complain. “I’ll go change and go, don’t worry.”

I ran upstairs and didn't give them time to replay something. “My keys are on the table next to the door!”

As I get down from the cab I notice the curtains down but still, a glimpse of light, if dad leaves the light on and mom finds out, he will be in trouble. I shake my head and giggle as I walk to the door.

But there were no bright lights on as I think, it was a new type, small light bubbles hanging in the ceiling, and a few papers too. As I walk closer the bubble lights help to see there aren't papers hanging on the wall, it’s actually polaroids.

“What the…” I grab one and turn around, the photo is me and Joe, laughing with the Christmas tree at our back. The second one I grab it’s us in pjs watching movies on his sofa. The third one is a selfie he took, me at his back reading some papers.

Then a soft music is heard on the piano, “Enchanted”; at the window Joe is sitting there playing the piano, above him three small light bubbles hanging from the ceiling. He turns slightly, smiles at me and turns back and keeps playing until the last notes.

I clap for him as he recalls sitting with a slight tremble in his hands.

“Beautiful.” I raise my sight seeing the ceiling cover with photos. “All of it.”

Joe chuckles. “Even so, I’m hoping to get my favorite one soon.”

“Is it not here?” I narrow my eyes, he shakes his head pointing to the back, at the other side of the coffee shop.

“There is a peek of what I want. The one with the red ribbon.” I smile at him walking where he’s pointing.

On the way I saw a lot of photos I had never seen before, some taken by him and others, probably a good contribution of friends and family.

I see the red ribbon. “This one?” Turning around to face him, he nods.

In the photo, I can see Joe in a jewelry shop looking at something in the glass cabinet, full focus.

“Mhm, new diamonds?” I don’t understand. “Hey, I love how that sunglasses looks on you.”

I take a closer look at the photo, slowly noticing the details. “No…This is not, rig…”

I see what he wants me to see.

Joe is standing in front of me with a black velvet box biting his lips; my hands start to shake as any coherents words come, just mumblings keeping my fingers stuck to my lips.

“Joe?” He giggles and opens it, inside there is a ring that emits a soft golden glow.

The band is simple and elegant with clean lines, at the center a captivating tanzanite sparkles, its blue-violet hues shifting with the light. .

“Will you marry me?” I cover my face sitting on the floor, he laughs and sits in front of me too.

I asked him with tears in my eyes. “What should I do?”

Joe shuggers his shoulders. “A yes will be an amazing answer.” I look at him, he chuckles. “But it’s your choice after all.”

I hug him so tight as he extends his legs for I can sit on his lap, feeling his heartbeat so fast, it just feels like being at home, safe and protected.

“Are you going to put it on my finger or what?” I laugh and split slightly, facing him. “Yes, I will.”

In Joe's face appears a side to side smile and a tear roll from his face, he grabs my hand and puts the ring on kissing my lips, in a tender way.

“This fits perfectly.” I said to him looking at my new ring.

“Thank god because Chase was pretty judgy that day.” Both of us laugh. The idea of him and Joe searching for a ring is hilarious.

“I actually didn’t mean the ring.” He narrowed his eyes. “Well, I got a promotion, in which Claire said I can work remotely if I want too.” His eyes are bright. “Don't be over excited, I still have to go to the office frequently.”

He grabbed my face and kissed me one more time. “So, Joe Burrow, will you be my home?”

Joe bites his lip, tingles his finger with mine. “Always.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost forgot, any request, it’s now open.

#joe burrow #joe shiesty #fic #fanfic #joe burrow bengals #joe burrow fic #joe x reader “joe burrow fan fic #joe brrr #joseph lee burrow

27 notes · View notes

writingonleaves · 4 months ago

Text

just two hours to get there, babe (i can make it back about an hour or so) - reckless driving au

universe: reckless driving au

warnings: not much! some minor spoilers of things that haven't Happened in the au yet, a devils cup win sometime before 2029 lmfao

title: "jersey giant" by tyler childers

word count: 1.8k

author's note: got emo about stamkos' goodbye to tampa bay on the players tribune (its always the players tribune) and whipped this up!

important context!! amelie wins an award from World Sports Photography (a real award) along with some prize money, and she decides to donate all the money to Sports Media For Everybody, a (made-up) organization that supports queer media professionals. Below is her op-ed for SMFE, which ends up circling around hockey media circles / hockey twitter. i like to see it as the first real Public thing she's ever posted / written. this is published about a month before jack and amelie get married in 2029, btw. enjoy and lmk what you think!!!

A Photo Worth More

by Amelie Fishel

Background: Amelie Fishel is a photographer mostly known for her work in sports. She has photographed in the NHL, NFL, PWHL, MLB, WNBA, the Olympic Games, the World Cup and more. Her photos have appeared in AP, ESPN, Sports Illustrated and The Athletic. Her photo of New Jersey Devils alternate captain Jack Hughes (also her fiance) during the Stanley Cup Final won a World Sports Photography award last week. A member of SMFE for over five years, Amelie has spoken in numerous classrooms and at panels and workshops to share her knowledge. Alongside Jack, she is an ambassador for You Can Play.

When I took a bow at my last dance recital with Michigan Dance Company, I thought I was done with sports.

Don’t get me wrong. Dance had — and still has — brought me so much. It taught me a lot of things about myself, and brought me friends I still talk to today. But after blinking at the stage lights onwe last time to loud cheers from our family, friends and fellow dancers, I knew I made the right decision to stop my decade plus intense training. I would end up dancing recreationally throughout college, but nothing close to what I did at MDC.

During my first week at the University of Michigan, I was timidly walking around the overwhelming Festifall, which happens every year at the school. It’s basically a club fair to showcase everything you can do at Michigan. Whether by happenstance or something else, I locked eyes with Jenny DeAngelo, who is currently the social media coordinator for the Los Angeles Chargers. I still remember — she had the cutest bob, a camera around her neck and the friendliest smile.

“Are you interested in working for the Michigan Athletic Department?”

Looking back, vaguest question ever. They could’ve been asking for equipment staff or helpers for ticket sales. But I walked over to Jenny, and that was it.

For my whole four years at Michigan, I photographed almost every sport. Football, swimming, soccer, gymnastics, field hockey, you name it. I gave up a lot of weekends and school nights when I could’ve been out partying (let’s be honest, knowing me, I wouldn’t have been anyways) to stand at the sidelines of a field or court. I always knew I wanted to do photography, but the sports part of it all caught me off guard.

Photographing hockey was almost a different skill set. I never played and didn’t really know anyone who did. But hockey at Michigan is sacred. I felt it the first game I shadowed, with Yost Arena filled up to the brim. I remember panicking because the sport was so fast. How could I ever keep up?

But I’ve never backed down from a challenge.

I started being placed on the hockey beat more and more to the point where the guys started knowing me by name. I found myself at Yost pretty often during the season. And with my love for photographing hockey came my love for the actual game of hockey. Michigan hockey, in a way, was where another very important branch of my root love for photography started. I will always be grateful to Kristy, Maggie, Lauren and all the players and staff I worked with there for the encouragement and setting the expectations astronomically high for how a photographer is part of the team’s DNA.

I’m so grateful that my first gig after graduation was with the NHL. Being trusted to photograph the Philadelphia Flyers, the New Jersey Devils, the New York Islanders and the New York Rangers as an inexperienced but eager 22 year old was such a pleasure. I learned a lot and I still look upon the early years of my career with so many good memories.

Since then, I’ve been lucky to continue doing what I enjoy on stages I could’ve never imagined I would even have a seat at the table at. From the world stage with the Olympic Games and World Cups, to Stanley Cup Finals and Super Bowls, to junior and high school sports Every sport at every level has taught me something new, and I feel so grateful that holding a camera still feels fresh.

I’m extremely honored to receive this award for a photo that personally means so much to me.

When I took that photo of Jack during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, I honestly don’t remember what I was thinking. I was a ball of nerves that entire game — that entire post-season, to be honest with you — and I was purely doing everything out of instinct. I was urged multiple times by many people to not do my job. Go be in the crowd and enjoy it as a fan, everyone told me. But I couldn’t. I would’ve rather been working with the safety net of the camera around my neck because that would calm down my nerves. So they let me do it, more for my sake than anything, I think. What I do remember is when the final horn sounded, because everything leading up to that point flashed through my mind like a movie. Like a supercut, as Lorde would say.

An image of when Jack and I first met flashed through my mind all those years ago in Michigan (the state, not the school). An image of the first Devils game I shot flashed through my mind, where he, of course, scored. An image of me crying in a conference room in Madison Square Garden flashed through my mind, when I felt so burnt out and questioned if I wanted to even do this anymore. It wasn't the first time I felt that way, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. An image of Jack coming into my office and waiting for me to finish editing photos flashed through my mind, the quiet hum of The Rock as our soundtrack.

I remember when family and loved ones were shuffling onto the ice and I saw Luke skating up to me, the cup in the back and the biggest smile on his face. All I could think of was him in the Michigan maize skating up to me all the years prior. It felt like the most full circle moment.

Basically, it felt like a movie, where everything that led up to that point came crashing down on me and all I could feel was pure joy and pride.

To me, that’s it. Photographing people is about capturing the pureness of emotions. Joy, sadness, frustration, anguish, confusion. I hate to use a cliche, but it’s true. A snapshot of a moment in time can say so much. That’s what keeps me going. That’s what motivates me to keep trying when the last thing I want to do is click that damn shutter.

Recently, I was asked last minute to shoot a Devils game. It had been over a year since I had done so, so I jumped at the chance. I didn’t realize until I walked into the familiar hallways that it was Hockey Is For Everyone Night. Chris Sccopetto, one of the equipment guys (more commonly known as Frosty) tossed me something when I walked in. I looked down and teared up. It was a roll of rainbow ribbon.

When I covered the NHL on a consistent basis, I would tie a ribbon in my hair, the color matching whatever team I was working for that night. It was a little thing I did just for fun. During the Hockey Is For Everyone nights, I used to always put something rainbow in my hair. I was honored that Frosty remembered.

At that Devils game, I was shooting pre-game warmups, and a young woman was against the glass. After she got a puck from Dougie Hamilton, I went up to her, showing her the picture and asking if she would want a copy. I don’t always do this, but the picture was too good and I felt like she’d appreciate it. Just as I was about to leave, she told me she liked the ribbon in my hair. We got to chatting, and I found out that she had just come out as bisexual to her family, and she had looked forward to being at the game tonight for a long time. I offered her the roll of rainbow ribbon and went on my way, but that interaction will stick with me for awhile. From one bisexual woman to another, we’ve found a common space in a sport we love.

In light of recent events, nights like Hockey Is For Everyone are more important than ever. I have been lucky that my sexuality hasn’t been an issue in any workplace I’ve been a part of, but I know that I am so lucky it hasn’t been. As a photographer, I feel the energy of the fans at every game I shoot. For all fans, staff and players to feel included and to feel like they belong in a world that they love is crucial. It’s how the sport will be sustained. I know how important that feeling of inclusion is. It’s not just rainbow ribbons and tape — it goes beyond. It must go beyond.

Hockey Is For Everyone, and similar events to it, is a start. But that’s just what it is. A start. It’s through actions small and large where the work continues. It’s through just telling someone that you hear them and support them. It’s through donations, no matter how big or small, to organizations that do incredible work. It's through offering a shoulder to cry on and being the loudest to voice support in triumphant moments. Allyship exists in so many forms.

In the corner of the photo that won this award, if you look on the top right, you see a fan waving a rainbow flag, by the way.

I’m so lucky that the passion for my work led me to do what I love alongside the love of my life also doing what he loves. People say working with your significant other isn’t ideal, but now that I don’t do it as much anymore, I can say that I miss it greatly. Jack, you make me laugh and feel so incredibly happy. I love you. All the friends and colleagues I made through my work have been the greatest blessings and deserve all the thanks. My friends outside of work who remind me that life is more than just a camera, you deserve all the gold stars. Thank you. My family - Mom, Dad, Colette, Kaiden, Charlotte and Xander, thank you for all your cheerleading.

But lastly and mostly importantly, thank you to everyone who has let me point a camera at them. The way I’ve been included in vulnerable, intimate and beautiful moments just by simply being there and doing my job — it’s a feeling that never gets old. Thank you for letting me into your life. I look forward to continue doing it with integrity and love for as long as I can.

yours,

amelie fishel

~*~*~

tag list (lmk if you wanna be a part of it!!): @ru-kru , @bunbunbl0gs

#reckless driving au #k writes #jack hughes #hockey fanfic #hockey writing #hockey blurb #nhl fic #nhl writing #nhl blurb #nhl #jack hughes x original character #jack hughes x oc #jack hughes x ofc #jack hughes x original female character #jack hughes writing #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb

52 notes · View notes

thelonelyempath · 2 years ago

Text

M!Crush x F!Reader: Better Late Than Never PART 1

THEME: Fluff, Some Angst (Enemies To Lovers)

WARNING(s): None yet (Part 2 is NSFW)

**This was heavily inspired by a Skins episode. It's Naomi's episode from season 3. I did make a few key changes to avoid the "plaigarism" allegations. It was also heavily inspired by IRL beef I have with someone at my college who I may or may not have had a crush on at one point. Unfortunately, that beef will not end in this manner because the world don't work like that.**

It was cold and miserable. Why were you even forced to go on this stupid retreat with C/N anyways? He told you his friends set it up so the two of you could "stop hating each other". Yeah, like that would ever work. If anything, you expected that time spent alone with him would make the two of you hate each other more.

"You okay?" he asked you, the glow of the fire illuminating his face.

"That's the first time you've asked me something." you quipped back.

"Today?"

"Ever."

"Well...answer it then. Are you okay?"

"No. This is miserable. The weather's shit and the company's even worse. Why are we even here? Why were we forced to go on this stupid camping trip with each other?"

"You know you could have said no. Nobody forced you to be here."

He was right. You could have said no. But, admittedly, a camping trip (even with someone you don't like) was better than sitting at home and being bored all weekend.

"Whether or not I said no is irrelevant." you said. "What was the point of this trip? Was it so your friends could make bets on if we're gonna hook up?"

"I'll be honest," he answered. "I don't know either. They said it was to get us to stop hating each other, but it's really none of their business. And now we're both just sitting here, bored and unhappy. The worst part is they're making us share a tent."

"Yep."

The fire was warm. It felt nice. You held out your hands against it to warm them. Unfortunately, the skies were looking a bit ominous. You were expecting rain at any second.

"You know I never hated you, right?" C/N said out of nowhere.

"Hmm?" you raised an eyebrow.

"It's true, Y/N. I never hated you. I guess I was always such an ass to you because I knew you didn't like me. It made me feel powerful. God, I'm such a dumbass."

Damn. That hit hard. Truth be told, you never hated him either. Maybe his friends were right. Maybe this rivalry was stupid and pointless.

"I never hated you either." you confessed. "I caught you running your mouth about me to your buddies and it hurt me. I was angry and upset. And I think that may have colored my thoughts about you."

"That's totally valid." he said. "And listen, I never should have said those things about you. It's fair that you thought I was a dick. I know I hurt you. Like I said, I'm a dumbass. I'm sorry."

"I guess I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"The way I reacted. I held a grudge and I really shouldn't have--"

You were cut off by his lips pressing against yours. It was totally out of left field. Was it because you were talking too much and this was his way of getting you to shut up because he couldn't stand the sound of your voice anymore? You didn't want to like it, but you did. You surrendered to the kiss, which grew deeper when you gave in.

"I've been wanting to do that for a really long time." he said breathlessly after pulling away.

"You..." you didn't understand. "you kissed me. You just kissed the person who caught you talking shit about them a few months ago."

"I sure did. And I enjoyed every second of it. The reason I was talking shit about you in the first place was because I have secretly always had a crush on you. I was just scared of it and thought I had to pretend I didn't like you so it wouldn't be obvious. But that was really stupid and immature of me. I should've just told you so all this petty drama could have been avoided. But yeah...I've been crushing on you."

You felt a blush forming on your cheeks. C/N noticed this and smiled. Did you maybe secretly like him too? Where were all these feelings coming from?

"If you want the truth," you said. "I think the reason I was so hurt and angry was because I sort of liked you too. Maybe your friends were right. Maybe we didn't need to be fighting with each other."

It all finally made sense. You were both just too stubborn to admit you had feelings for each other. But you supposed it was better late than never. Though the fire was still blazing, a cool breeze washed over you. You ran cold anyways, so this did not help. You hugged yourself for warmth. C/N saw this and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close and kissing the crown of your head. Alas, you were finally in his arms. You didn't realize how badly you wanted that until now. With your head pressed against his chest, you could hear his heartbeat. It sounded so beautiful. Maybe you were starting to drift off to sleep. But just as you began to drift away, the moment was ruined. There was the rain, putting out the nice, cozy, warm fire.

PART 2

#m!crush x f!reader #crush x reader #crush imagine #boyfriend x reader #boyfriend imagine #boyfriend x girlfriend #enemies to lovers #camping imagine #otp fluff #otp imagine

191 notes · View notes

allthefandomthings55 · 9 months ago

Text

Life in the Limelight

Chapter 3

Spencer’s POV

After my text conversation with Y/N, I got back to work. All I had to do was hope that we didn’t get a case in two days. I hopped off the elevator and walked to my desk and greeted everybody as I went. As I sat at my desk I started to do paperwork that had been piling up.

“Hey Reid, my man,” Derek said slapping his hands on my shoulders.

“Oh no, what do you want, Derek?”

“Nothing, I just think you should come out with me this weekend. Maybe Saturday?”

“I don’t know, Derek, I think I’m busy Saturday.”

“Ok Pretty Boy! What are you doing, hmm? Are you going to watch some obscure movie? Maybe reading a whole bunch of obscure books?”

“Yeah, actually I was thinking about going out and getting lunch after going for a walk in the park then going to an early movie then going home and reading some books.”

Derek, JJ, and Emily seemed surprised for me to have a detailed plan ready. “Ok Reid,” Emily starts, “Are you going with anyone?”

“No, I’m not. I’m actually kind of excited to go out by myself and enjoy life.”

Everyone was staring at me, trying to read my micro-expressions but I knew they couldn’t. “Everyone in the meeting room in five,” Hotch said as he walked passed us. After everyone left to go to the meeting room, I let out a deep breath. I hope this case doesn’t take us out of state and doesn’t take us long. I don’t want to miss my hangout/date with Y/N. I walk up to the meeting room to see everyone sitting there.

I take my seat and Garcia starts the meeting, “Ok friends we have trouble in our backyard. First victim, Alyssa Caldwater, was last seen leaving her job at 10:30 last Tuesday night. She was found dead two days ago in an alley, and get this, completely naked. Then just yesterday an Amanda Clarke was found in another alley about two blocks from where Miss Alyssa was found. Also they were both strangled to death then stabbed 30 times postmortem.”

“So,” Emily started, “we’re clearly dealing with someone who has extreme aggression problems.”

“Yeah, they might also be impotent. Maybe that’s why he stabbed them,” JJ commented.

“You know, because of the overkill, we’re definitely dealing with someone who is really fit, or is on some kind of stimulant drug that would give them the strength and energy to do something like this,” I said.

“Well, it seems like this guy is speeding up. One girl dumped two days ago and another one dumped yesterday.” Rossi added.

Hotch spoke up, “Either way we better get down to the D.C. field office and help them figure this out. Everyone at the cars in 10 minutes.”

I got worried because I don’t know if we’ll be done in time for my brunch with Y/N so I decided to call her.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N, how are you?”

“I’m good, Spencer, I’m just leaving rehearsal. What about you?”

“Uh, I’m ok. Look I hate to do this, but my team and I just got a case and I don’t know if it will be done by Saturday. Luckily it’s here, well in D.C., but close enough, right?”

“Oh,” she sounded disappointed, “well that’s ok. I mean you can’t just let people die, right? How about this, we’ll play it by ear. What I do for work is really flexible so I can meet you really anytime I want. Within reason though.” She chuckled after that sentence and I liked the sound of it. I honestly didn’t even know what to say. “Spencer? Did I say something wrong?”

“No! I mean no you didn’t. I just haven’t always had people in my life that understood my situation.”

“Oh believe me I get your situation. Don’t be nervous but I really need to tell you something when we do get to meet. It’s nothing bad, but I think it’s important that you know.”

“Ok, yeah no worries right? But I have to get going to solve this and hopefully I can make our time and date.”

“Yeah you go catch a killer, Spencer. Good luck.”

“Thank you. Bye,” and I hung up the phone. I made my way downstairs and before I got off the elevator I took a deep breath and made my face neutral so the team couldn’t read me.

As I walk out of the elevator I see the team waiting for me. “Petty Boy! What took you so long?”

“Uh, I just had to make a phone call.”

“Really? To whom?” I decided to ignore him and just follow everyone else and get into the SUV.

#aaron hotchner #david rossi #penelope garcia #derek morgan #emily prentiss #Spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fandom

35 notes · View notes

heartsbind · 2 months ago

Note

❤️ + ✈️ + 🧶 !!

shannon yaps about themself time!

❤️ — what are some of your best qualities?

i see you making me be positive about myself -- DKJFSNKJSD 🥺 anyway okay so i would say... my sense of humor and i am good at making myself look physically calm under pressure and organized (at work) even though i never feel that way DKFDSFDSF like at my mother's wedding this weekend. like... ok story time DKJFNDSF so i have three sisters, all younger, the youngest two are twins and the one in the middle is the one who just had a baby. the older twin is engaged and the younger twin has a bf. so older twin's fiance was standing by my brother-in-law and the baby and when he saw us starting to file out for like the procession or whatever the walk to the altar is, he starts like gesticulating and pointing at the baby and giving a thumbs up, but my sister could not tell what he was doing and was like starting to get anxious and asking us like "what's he saying, what about the baby-" and i, who had just been in a 2 hour long car ride with him and just know what he's generally like, could calm her down bc i knew they were positive gestures like "hey i see your baby! she's all good!" and then at the exact same time my mom was getting nervous bc the youngest twin was singing and we'd rehearsed walking according to what verse she was on and like nobody in our lineup could hear her from the building we were coming from EXCEPT i guess another good quality is that i have good hearing (my husband also can't hear for shit so i'm always hearing shit for him me vc oh that car is playing seven nation army i can hear the bass / him vc WHAT are you talking about / ANYWAY--) bc i could be like "ok she's on first verse. ok she's on the chorus. ok second verse is coming up. ok time to go" so anyway i hadn't considered much about any of it until the hostess that was helping us run the event that night came up to me later and was like you did really great!!! and all that and i was like oh! i did nothing!

i am also very humble and yap a very normal amount ---

✈️ — ever traveled anywhere interesting?

ok i can keep this one short bc i haven't gone too many places! i cannot drive and am broke and rarely have the chance to take more than a few days off at once so i've never left the country nor traveled very far across the country. i've pretty much stayed on the east coast u.s. but!! i got lucky enough to go to savannah georgia for a couple days for my sister's bachelorette party a few years ago and that was really fun! they had this place where they did brunch and they would put rubber ducks in your drinks. i think i still have mine somewhere

🧶 — any non-writing hobbies/interests?

video gaming primarily! beyond the games that i have muses for i really like all kinds of different sims. all sorts of farming sims that i just keep collecting, i have like gas station sim and powerwashing sim, supermarket sim, house flipper, pool-cleaning, crime scene washing... i'm currently juggling two/three bg3 runs, early access fields of mistria, just completed the demo of metaphor re:fantazio last night (the gameplay was so fun and it looked so incredible oh my gosh!)

i am god awful at watching things, tv shows i'm the worst at and movies i'm hit or miss - i just have soooo many things i want to do that it's hard to pick what to do next haha! but i have a background in scriptwriting and media studies so i really enjoy watching movies when i have the time!

i used to play the alto saxophone for a symphonic band at a local college that was open to community members! i miss it, but the last place i moved to it was just too far of a drive to justify doing it, plus covid put them in limbo for a bit and i don't think i ever got an email when they started in-person up again, probably because i wasn't in a position to do online meetings with everyone and practice at the time. i'm hoping to move back into the city next year, and maybe i can try to go again!

anything else... i like doing puzzles with my husband, we love tabletop mystery games (we used to have a hunt a killer subscription), and i love collecting even though i am too broke to really do it DKFSDJFDSFS and have no space to put anything. oh and i did start to practice drawing but i haven't done that in a while DFJDSFDSF

#nvictive #oooohhhhhh my god i let this get long #i yapped too close to the sun #anyway thank u kae <3 <3 <3 hehehe i do love to talk about myself-- (and also have a break from work)#but bless ilu #ooc.

11 notes · View notes

blossomwritesthings · 2 years ago

Note

Hear me out hear me OUT— hyunjin with a stomach bug while on a train to visit his parents for the first time with y/n and brushing it off as motion sickness but realizes that it’s not when it gets worse when they arrive home and can barely keep anything down and runs a fever🤔

- hi I’m new here can I be “🦊” anon?

𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader (afab)

genre: sick!fic. idol!hyunjin. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. reader pov. established relationship.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. mild thematic elements. hyunjin is sick with a stomach bug (that is first thought to be motion sickness). reader and his mother help nurse him back to health. :)) mentions of hyunjin overworking himself w/schedules. angst is in this. fluff is sprinkled throughout. pet names (affectionately).

word count: 2.8k

summary: your first visit back to the small countryside village that your boyfriend hyunjin grew up in suddenly takes a turn for the worse when he starts feeling sick to his stomach. and you're the first person he turns to for comfort.

a/n: wahhhh i'm finally posting this lmao 😭 sorry for the late reply anon, life has been dealing me with a heavy, shitty hand atm sshshshks 💀 anyways, i hope you enjoy this... it was fun to write smth with soft jinnie~ 🥹 also, yes- you can be 🦊 anon, thanks for requesting! 💕

🤎 - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋread my rules & guidelines here! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋcheck out my skz masterlist! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋmy wip list! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋskz fic recs [nsfw ver]! :: 18+, MDNI! ࿐ྂ

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋback to navigation! ࿐ྂ

The trip started as any other normal one. It was the first time the two of you were visiting your boyfriend, Hyunjin’s, parents, who lived in a small house in a quaint countryside village. He had taken off the entire weekend from work so that you guys could spend an ample amount of time exploring his hometown. The train that Hyunjin had booked for the two of you was nice enough - with amazing window seats that had a great viewpoint of the passing nature.

With his parents living quite far away from Seoul, the trip was well over four hours.

And not even thirty minutes into the ride, Hyunjin started to feel shitty.

Like every time before - the curse of trip sickness continued to follow you guys. Because it seemed like on every trip that you took together, either one of you - or, worse, sometimes both of you - came down with some form of sickness. The flu, strep throat, it seemed like you two had had it all.

But motion sickness was an entirely new one, which is what you chalked up your boyfriend’s symptoms to be. He wasn’t the best at traveling on moving things - but especially cars - so it was expected that he’d feel sick on a train that was going even faster than your average automobile.

“Baby- you don’t look so well…” You began in a quiet voice, reaching over in your seat to squeeze one of his knees.

Hyunjin was hunched over in his chair, both arms wrapped around his waist as the train’s movement rocked him back and forth - side to side. His eyes were screwed shut, and the tight lock that his jaw was in seemed downright painful.

He looked up at you then, eyes a little bloodshot and his face a pasty colour, “No- I’m fine. It’s just… motion sickness.” He said, trying to give you a reassuring smile. But it came out all wrong, seeming almost agonizing for him to conjure up.

“You know, if you want to get off at the next stop, we can,” you started, eyes tearing away from your boyfriend’s crumpled form and peering out the window. The cityscape was long gone and was instead replaced with fields upon fields of grassy farmland and small villages nestled beside towering mountains. “I’m sure you’re parents would understand if we’re a day late- we can find a hotel in a nearby town and-”

“No.” Hyunjin ground out in a stern tone, making you whip your head around to stare at him as he frowned your way. “We’re not arriving late just because I- I have a weak stomach. I can make it- we only have…” With a glance at the small screen just underneath the window that continually flashed your arrival time, he nodded slowly. “An hour left.”

You shrugged slowly, offering him a tiny smile. “Okay, well if you’re sure you can make it in one piece.”

“I'm positive.”

When the silence lapsed between the two of you, you moved over to his chair, nestling into the corner beside him and grabbing onto one of his hands. It was warm and clammy to the touch as you squeezed your fingers between his. “I just don’t want you to push yourself too much, yeah? You’ve been going nonstop with the schedules since the new year.”

Hyunjin gave you that look, the one that he always used when you were 'babying him too much.' Although he liked to play the role of being a soft and pliable man in Stray Kids, when he was alone with you, he was just the opposite. He hated when you doted on him too much because he always claimed that that was his job. Hence, why he always loathed getting sick in any way.

So your boyfriend leaned into your space and pressed a chaste kiss against your temple. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m gonna be fine.”

But it seemed like his body had a mind of its own because exactly as those words left his mouth, he was shooting up from his seat beside you.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, concern laden in your voice as you watched him frantically clamp a palm over his mouth. His face was suddenly green-looking.

“B-Bathroom-” He only managed to say, before he was sliding the door to your seats open and ran down the hallway of the train.

Sucking in a deep breath, you shoved your head against the back of your seat and closed your eyes in exhaustion.

Because it sure was going to be a long hour ahead.

Much to your surprise, Hyunjin’s condition only worsened once you arrived at his parent’s house. He was nearly doubled over in misery by the time you guys landed on his childhood house’s doorstep, and the moment his mother caught sight of her sickened son, she was ushering the two of you in hastily.

In no time at all, she had some chicken-and-rice porridge cooked and was serving it to the two of you. Hyunjin ate in silence, bent over the kitchen table, spooning up the thin soup in small bites. His mother was sitting with you guys as you ate, while his father was still out at work.

You frowned at Hyunjin before your gaze met his mother’s. “I told him we should’ve waited a day and stopped at a nearby hotel on the way in. But no- he just wanted to get here today.”

She chuckled softly at that, “That’s my Hyunjin… doesn’t want to be late to anything if he can help it. And besides, I’m glad you didn’t because I’m the best person to take care of him.” Her eyes - which were so similar to your boyfriend’s chestnut brown ones - flicked to him across the table. She offered him a gentle smile, cooing quietly in motherly admiration. “Isn’t that right, my little Jinnie? Your mama is the best at nursing you back to health.”

Hyunjin abruptly pushed his bowl of porridge away from him, eyes alight with a certain kind of fire as they darted between the two of you. “I-I feel sick again.” He said in a low, gravelly voice. He slumped over in his chair, seemingly too exhausted to hold up his head for another second.

And in tandem, both you and his mother were rising from your chairs. While you wrapped two arms around your boyfriend to hoist him up from his seat, his mother was busy clearing the table.

“Bring him into his bedroom- it’s just off to the left of the family room,” his mother instructed, quickly rinsing out the bowls of porridge in the sink. You nodded in silence, beginning to make the trek through the house to Hyunjin’s bedroom.

He leaned his entire weight against you, and it was a struggle to walk down the hall as you carried his lengthy body the whole way. Hyunjin groaned desperately, and you noticed the small beads of sweat beginning to race down his temples from his hairline.

Hyunjin was delirious with his discomfort, so once you got him situated on his bed, he all but curled up into the thick duvet coverlets, nuzzling his head into the downy pillows. His room was medium in size, and you noticed the small sleeping bag that was set up just beside his bed - where you supposed his parents expected you to sleep since there was no guest bedroom in the house. Still, they must’ve been very naive if they thought that you’d take the floor over sleeping in the same bed as your boyfriend. After all, the two of you had been living together for well over a year.

“That doesn’t look like motion sickness to me,” you heard his mother say in a quiet voice from behind you. You turned on your heels then, raising a skeptical eyebrow her way. And immediately, you could see the worry dawn across her face - by the way her jaw tightened slightly and her eyes darkened. “Motion sickness doesn’t last this long after getting on stable ground.”

You peered back at your boyfriend, who was now tossing and turning atop the bed. He was moaning lowly in his frenzy, eyes screwed shut, almost like opening them physically hurt him. And just seeing him that way - seeing the love of your life - so distraught, caused something anxious and pained to rattle deep inside of you.

“So what do you think it is, then?”

“If I had to guess- probably a stomach bug.”

You watched in silence, as Hyunjin’s mother strode over to the nearby window and flipped the shades closed. Then, she hovered over the nightstand that was just beside his bed and switched on the faint light there. It cast a warm glow across the walls of the room and painted Hyunjin’s writhing, ghostly-white form in a frail kind of way.

“Do you know what he ate before traveling today?” His mother asked as she was already pressing a palm against his forehead. His face was flushed with crimson, his cheeks rosy with sweat.

“I think it was one of those bento lunches- we picked some up at the local convenience store before leaving for the station.”

She gave a deep sigh then, shaking her head slowly. “That’ll do it… some of those pre-made lunches are notorious for being expired. I always warned him not to eat that crap.”

“He’ll be okay though, right?” You could feel the panic rising inside of you, speeding up your heart and forcing it to pound against your ribcage. Because you had never seen him like this - in such misery. Usually, whenever he was sick, it only lasted for a few days at most and was the common cold or on very rare occasion, the flu. But this? Flailing around the bed in distress? With skin colour close to that of a phantom? It was all something you’d never seen before from him.

“Mhm- these stomach bugs usually only last a day or two, and he’s had them before. The best thing to do is to let him rest and continually monitor his condition,” his mother grabbed a blanket and gently tucked it around his form. “He’s running a fever, so we’ll probably have to stay up for most of the night to help him break it.”

You had been frozen near the doorway for so long since you didn’t know what to do. But finally, upon hearing her words, you were flitting over to Hyunjin’s side. You ran a few fingers through his silky black locks, noticing how warm he was. The heat seemed to radiate off of his entire body, prodding hopelessly at that anxiousness inside of you.

“I’ll go grab some cold cloths and water, so you just keep an eye on him, okay?” His mother bent over the bed then, giving one of your shoulders a delicate pat. You stared up at her with wide eyes, a lump starting to form in your throat at the sight of your boyfriend being in so much despair from a mere stomach bug. “He’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.”

Then, she was off to get the supplies and you were left to watch over your boyfriend. You scooted his body a little bit to the side and sat down on the bed next to him. The mattress was a full size, and could easily fit the two of you comfortably.

You pressed a palm to one of his cheeks, sweeping a gentle thumb across his damp skin there. “It’ll be alright, babe… I’m right here…” You said in a whisper to him. But if you were being honest, the words were more for you than anything else. They helped to calm that racing part in your mind, and all at once, your focus honed in on one thing only - just taking care of your boyfriend and nursing him back to health as quickly as you could.

Hyunjin’s fever broke sometime in the middle of the night. You and his mother had been tirelessly working all night to help him combat the pain - what with all of the cold washcloths and helping him stumble to the bathroom every time he felt the urge to vomit. After a while, nothing came up in the toilet bowl. Even still, it was like his stomach hated him, and just wanted to try and toss out every last ounce of liquid he had left inside of his body. As a result, you and his mother decided to refrain from giving him any liquid until the vomiting completely stopped.

After the clock struck one a.m., you assured his mother that you could handle him for the rest of the night. And after convincing her despite her many protests, she finally made her way to bed. You didn’t want to admit that you were exhausted yourself, but you knew that he needed you at that moment. Even if he wasn’t self-aware enough to know who was helping him through the hurt.

But with the break of the fever, also came the clearing of his head. And suddenly, your boyfriend was wide awake at three in the morning. He was still weak in the limbs, so he abated your wishes to stay in bed until at least seven.

“Thank you, darling,” he whispered to you late that night. You had turned off the room’s single light, leaving you in complete darkness save for the faint glow of the street lamp that shined through the window’s curtains. “You’ve taken such good care of me.”

You gave him a faint smile, even though he couldn’t see it in the dim of the bedroom. “Yeah- of course, I’m always gonna take care of you, Jinnie. Even if I’m on my fucking deathbed, I’ll be nursing you back to health if that’s what you need.”

He let out a faint chuckle at that before he was shifting on the bed and nearing you. After his mother had finally left, you had decided to curl up next to your boyfriend for the remainder of the night. Because to hell with that stupid sleeping bag.

“You sleepy, baby?” Hyunjin mused. You felt his nimble fingers reach up toward your face and tuck a few strands of your messy hair behind one of your ears.

“Y-Yeah…” You mumbled, voice growing faint as the shadows around you began to slowly soothe you to sleep. The sound of Hyunjin’s steady breathing right next to you, and the feel of his fingers brushing through your locks, helped usher you further into the twilight of slumber.

“You can sleep now, lovely, it’s okay.”

“B-But I wanna be awake in case you-”

He grunted out a laugh at that, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine now.”

“Still, I promised your mom that I’d nurse you completely back to health.”

The plush mattress dipped underneath you then, and suddenly, you felt warm lips land against your forehead. Pressing a whispery kiss to the skin there, Hyunjin moved ever so slightly, so that his lips were ghosting over the shell of your ear. “And what if I said that just laying beside you like this has already nursed me back to full health?”

You cracked your eyes open, trying to find his eyes in the swarthiness of the room. Instead, you were met with an ink splotch of a face and the distinct outline of a proud shoulder.

“I still don’t w-want to…” you began, but you could feel yourself nodding off - your eyes grew heavy and drooped low, mouth parting slightly in a deep sigh.

“I swear to fuck- if you don’t go to sleep this instant, I’m really gonna lose it. And not in the stomach-bug kind of way.” Hyunjin said, his voice a little sterner this time than before.

That got you giggling, as you tried to keep your voice down so that you didn’t wake his parents that were just across the hallway. “Okay, okay- I’ll go to sleep.”

“That’s my girl.”

And at that moment, you thanked the stars above that the bedroom was too dark for either of you to see anything - else, Hyunjin would start teasing you about the furious blush that crept up your neck and pooled in the tips of your ears and cheeks at his words alone.

Because yes, you were his girl.

And you always loved it when he made a point of that.

“Goodnight, my Jinnie…” Your voice trailed off, as you finally allowed yourself to relax down into the thick duvet that was all around you, muscles nearly melting into dreamland.

One of Hyunjin's long arms wrapped around your waist then, and he pulled you close to him, burying your face into his warm chest. “Night, my beautiful, magnificent girl."

Fin.

taglist: want to be added onto my taglist so that you always get notified when i post a new work? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can simply send me a msg and request to be added that way~

161 notes · View notes

dreamingon-forever · 1 year ago

Text

Happy Birthday, Four-Eyes

OMG I'M SO LATE BUT I'M STILL ON TIME FOR HANGE'S BIRTHDAY, SO HERE IT IS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR HANGE, THE MOTHER FIGURE AND HEART OF THE SCOUTS!

At first I had another idea for the ending, but seeing Brave Order's Twitter post, it completely shifted the story. So hopefully you all enjoy it!

PS. Black Tea is Fine will be out by the weekend. I'm sorry for the delay, but I got irl things that distracted me and delayed my writing.

AO3 Link: 💜

"-substract from recreation budget?" Nanaba suggested in a hushed voice.

"No. We're already at a low with them and I don't think we can go lower unless we want troop morals to waver. It's not up for debate." Erwin's authoritive voice answered.

Muttering and disgruntted murmurs filled the usually empty room.

"I know! We can deduct from the cleaning budget! We'll make due with what we have for a while longer. We can stretch out the soaps a bit if we add water or-"

"No one is fucking touching my cleaning supplies." Levi interrupted as he made himself known to the room. A dozen frightened eyes turning to him from his unexpected appearance.

"Ouluo! You're bleeding!" Petra shrieked as she turned to her companion, who'd bitten his tongue out of fright after having his captain catch him suggesting the budget cuts on cleaning supplies.

Instead of answering or addressing the preposterous suggestion, he turned his attention to Erwin, who was sitting at the head of the table, a bemused smile on his lips.

"What's everyone up to at this hour? Don't you all have fucking things better to do than gossip or putting my cleaning supplies on the chopping board?" He grumbled, taking a seat on an empty chair next to Mike.

Having made sure that no one had followed after the newcomer, Nanaba closed the door behind her before settling back down in her seat. "We were discussing what to do for Hange's birthday. Our budget has been slashed more than usual so we don't have much to go on. So we're wondering where we can cut some spending for a small party."

"Tch. That's stupid. Why we putting money on a measly birthday above something that can actually help the corps?" Levi grumbled, to which everyone else in the room threw wary glances across each other in silence. It was not unexpected that Levi would come to this conclusion, which was why he wasn't originally invited to the conversation in the first place. It'd been two years since he'd joined the corps, and a year since Erwin had been elected as the new commander. Despite having been forced to work closely alongside the bespectacled brunette, he had made his distaste towards his fellow comrade quite obvious since the start. Despite Hange's many attempts at becoming close to him or getting to know him, he always brushed her off and complained about her annoying presence.

"Well... Hange's been putting more effort than most into trying to find a way to defeat the titans. Whether it's on field or off doing research, she's been tirelessly trying to find an answer for us. We just thought it'd be nice to show her some appreciation for what she's done so far." Erwin said carefully.

Rolling his eyes, Levi scoffed. "All that effort to simply throw our men to their graves. All her bullshit about titans have caused our men to die for nothing. We haven't gotten anything out of her shitty obsession other than making headquarters stink of decay and unidentified corps."

A heavy silence fell over the room at his words. While it wasn't entirely wrong that Hange's overly enthusiastic views towards titans had caused some deaths along the way, it wasn't as if Hange wanted that outcome either.

"You're wrong, sir. Section leader Hange Zoe is very much self aware of the dangers and consequences of her actions. She plans out everything thoroughly and is by far the most caring person I've met. The time she puts into her revisions and plans is beyond anything we've done outside the walls, and if there's a reason we might win against the titans, it's because of section commander Hange Zoe." A young man said, standing out of his seat. His face red in embarrassment over the attention, but his eyes piercingly dark as he spoke of his team leader.

"Moblit... please calm down..." A young girl with red hair pleaded from his right, gently pulling at his sleeve to come back down next to her. But he refused, continuing to stare down at Levi.

"And you might be the new second in command in the Hange team?" Levi guessed. "You know her last one lost his life after she went chasing after a titan instead of following protocol like she should've, right? If you're willing to blindly follow that shit-head then maybe you deserve his same fate."

"Levi, that's enough." Erwin's voice boomed, his face one of displeasure. "We're here to celebrate Hange, and whether you personally like her or not, it doesn't stop the fact that everyone else in this room feels like they want to do something nice for her. A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. And we all here are thankful that Hange is still with us, helping humanity out for the most part. So if you don't want to be part of it, or have nothing nice to say about it, then I have to ask you to please leave the room immediately."

With a tch, the man got up and left the room.

The aftermath and loss of that day's expedition was probably the worst one Levi's experienced. Only a third of the troops that set out made it back, with most of the survivors being badly injured and/or missing limbs that probably meant they'd no longer be able to serve the corps. No one talked, no one looked at each other, and no one dared to look behind them. To where they'd left their fallen friends and soldiers, their lifeless bodies unable to be retrieved. Even the commander fell silent as he led them through the silent crowd.

That evening the castle was silent. And even the dining hall usually full of life and laughter was void of activity. And Levi, out of habit, decided he was better off cleaning the halls to distract himself from thoughts on the heavy loss they went through.

He was just on the landing of the west side of the third floor when a horrendous stench composed of something like a mixture of decay and dried blood seeped through the walls. Pulling the cloth tighter around his nose, he followed the smell until he was standing in front of a door. A particular door he tried his best in avoiding on purpose.

Of fucking course.

"Oi, Shitty-glasses." He barged into the room, not giving the resident even a heads up about his intrusion. "Why the fuck is your room stinking up the fucking place?"

But instead of the hyper and loud version of the fourth section leader he expected to come into, he was met with complete silence. Her messy ponytail facing him unmoving as she continued staring at something in front of her. Her silence and lack of enthusiasm so unnatural it starting causing Levi to worry about whether she was alive or not.

"Am I a bad person, Levi?" She finally asked. Her tone hushed and void of streght.

"Huh? What bullshit did you fall upon this time?" Levi grumbled, throwing a disgruntled look at the mess of papers on the floor beneath him. It started to seem like his plans on just cleaning the interior halls would no longer be the case.

Just as he started picking up some of the discarded paper, Hange spoke up again. "Did I lead everyone to their deaths? Erwin entrusted me with planning out today's expedition and... Maybe you're right... maybe my experiments are useless... Maybe that's why Erwin always disapproves of them despite being nice to me about it. But I kept pushing and pushing to capture a titan and do some experiments on them... I deviated from the plan... and I... all those innocent lives...." She fell silent. And if he strained his hearing enough, he was sure he could hear her silently sniffling.

Levi carefully threw a look towards the brunette, unsure of how to respond to her sudden emotional outburst. Despite his distaste towards her, it seemed the expedition did a number on her too. And the guilt she seemed to be feeling seemed like something he couldn't ignore. "Erwin trusts you." Was all he said.

A snort met his words. "Hah! Wrong judgement on that... I know everyone questions my methods, I know the way people talk behind my back about me. But I never paid mind, thinking I would prove them wrong someday. I thought Erwin would come to see my brilliance one day too. But I think instead I just proved how wrong I was all along. And maybe... maybe you were the only one who saw through all of that. You were always the one to advise Erwin and everyone against my ideas... I was stupid... If only I'd listened to you."

He stayed silent. A strange feeling of shame filling him from hearing the brunette's confession. Sure, he'd brashly spoken multiple times about how bad her ideas seemed to be. And he had indeed badmouthed her for being a lose canon ready to explode and destroy everything in her path just for the sake of needing to quench her curiousity. But he wasn't aware his words had hurt her in any way before.

The usual vibrant individual that had a hard time staying still and silent for longer than two seconds was suddenly the complete opposite. And it was throwing him off. It made him feel guilty somehow.

"You stink. Clearly you haven't washed since our expedition. Go take a bath." Levi responded in the only way he knew how to answer. "I'll set up the tub for you."

Hange stayed silent, eyes still downcast to whatever had been occupying her attention the whole time he'd been there.

When Levi came back, he was surprised at seeing the woman slouching over the table. Seemingly worn out from the day's events she had finally succumbed to her fatigue.

"Tch... fucking Four-Eyes..." He grumbled. But seeing as there was no other way around it, he took his jacket off, carefully placing it on the bed so it wouldn't get soiled before going around and picking the sleeping form up. Hange whimpered a few times, but otherwise didn't stir much. As he carried her to the tub, he couldn't help but take a peek at her face. And his heart stopped for a moment when he came to notice the trail of tears that made their way down her cheek. In his state of shock, not having paid mind to his surroundings, he ended up knocking a bottle of ink down, covering her desk in black.

"Shit." He swore, snapping out of his stupor as he continued carrying Hange towards the bathtub.

"Oi, Shitty-glasses. You going to undress yourself or you're going to make me do it?" But her lack of response combined with the silent tear still hanging on her lash was enough for an answer. Carefully and with the most respect, he stripped her off her clothes, peeling each soiled layer one by one until she was completely bare in the tub of warm water. Having thoroughly washed her hair and face, slowly her eyes fluttered open as he started scrubbing at her legs. A surprised look on her face as she noted the state they were in.

"Ah, you're up. Continue scrubbing yourself. I got to clean the mess you created." He grumbled as he handed her the sponge. "And make sure to scrub well. I will throw you back in if I see as much as a speck of dirt on you."

Closing the door behind him, Levi let out a tired sigh. Why was he suddenly feeling sympathy towards her? She knew what she got them all into. She understood her nonsense brought death to their comrades which she never seemed to show a care or remorse towards. So why did he suddenly feel like he was in the wrong? That he had this need to care for her? Shaking his head, he went onto cleaning the ink off the table. Luckily the pot seemed to have been almost empty, so except for a few splotches here and there, everything seemed to be clear of ink. Moving a few of the clutter away, his gaze suddenly landed on an open book. Curiousity getting the best of him, he let his eyes wander through the lines of writing, only to feel his face contorting into one of confusion.

Anabelle Haste, 21. Killed trying to save Lauren Bell, 19, who died by being eaten by a ten feet titan.

Edward Crown, 18, Ethan Bret, 18, Emma Krist, 16, all killed together by being caught off guard at the rear of formation.

Thomas Heist, 17, Morgan Heist, 17, twins. Both died together trying to help carry the corpse of their older brother Peter, 18, back.

The names of their past comrades and their deaths continued flowing throughout the whole book. Each line detailing their ages and the people they were closest to. Followed by where they lived and small trinkets Hange had been able to scrape from their personal belongings if possible.

And then his heart dropped as he went back to the beginning of the book. The first two names imprinted on the page being of his two best friends.

Isabel Magnolia, 17. Died alongside Furlan Church, 18, during their first expedition outside the walls. Both were from the Underground, but were very promising in their abilities using the ODM gear. Isabel loved the yellow dandelions we had growing around the pond near HQ, this one was found in one of the books she was reading. Furlan dreamt of owning a tea shop with his best friend Levi. I found this coin on his desk.

Feeling his eyes sting from unshed tears he hadn't realized were forming until then, he quickly wiped them away as he heard the door open behind him.

"Thanks for the bath, I didn't realize how much I needed it unti-" Hange stopped as she came into view of Levi holding her familiar book in his hands.

"Oh..."

"What the fuck is this, Shitty-glasses?" Levi questioned, pointing to the leather bound book. His face contorting to one of anger and confusion.

Seeing as there was no way out of it, Hange sighed, flopping onto her bed in defeat. "Where I keep names of our fallen comrades."

"I can fucking see that much. But why do you have it?"

"Because... It's sad just forgetting them. They all had dreams before them but gave up their lives for our cause. We all dedicated our lives to fight off the titans, and letting their memories go as if each of them were disposable is not something that I can bring myself to do."

Levi stared at the woman. "And you wrote down each of their names?"

Slowly Hange nodded. "Yes... I try tracking down those close to them, try to figure out their age and how they died. We can't afford to send each of them off in a lavish manner, but at least keeping their name and sacrifice alive is something doable on paper. I'm hoping someday when we can all defeat the titans, we can use this record to build a proper memorial for all our comrades."

Silence fell over them as Levi continued staring at Hange's deflated figure.

"I... I was doing the same for the comrades that we lost today but... There's so many of them, Levi. So many lost and so many I can't name or put something personal about them because they all died along their friends. There's no one to retell their story, or nothing to showcase what they loved or even that they existed. I'm just... so tired. And to think this is all because of me and my decision to go after some stupid tit-"

"It's not your fault." Levi interjected. His voice ringing against the silence of the night. "They flanked us. We weren't aware they had huddled near the east side because some meddlesome treasure seekers sneaked out to get some valuable off the corps of our comrades... None of today's loss were because of you. So don't take blame over something other fucktards did, Shitty-glasses. Our comrades died on their conscience, not yours."

At his words, Hange's eyes widened. Her brown eyes staring right at him as her mouth hung agape.

"Fucking close your mouth, you look like a fucking fish." Levi threw at her, turning to the book at hand to avoid her piercing gaze. A few minutes of silence passed as Levi continued flipping through the pages, small recollections of certain comrades coming to mind after glossing over their names.

"Chase Piercer, 21. He died after hearing the cries of the treasure seekers. He was the first at the scene and flared us to get help. He died along with Nathan Feekle, his boyfriend, 20." Levi said, opening the book to the most recent page, where half the slots were empty. Confusion clouded Hange's brown orbs as she glanced up at him, not sure what he was getting to. It wasn't until Levi took the ink pot and a feather pen to her that she realized what he'd meant. Excitement and curiosity flared in her chest at the information her companion had just given her, a newborn sense of purpose filling her once again.

Having watched the woman scribble down their names in her most neat handwriting, he pulled out something from out of his jacket pocket. "And these... these were their wings of freedom. They each have their names at the back of them. Add them next to their names."

And with a brilliant smile, Hange threw herself at Levi, enveloping him in the warmest embrace he'd ever gotten. "Thank you, Levi... Thank you so much."

A birthday is meant to be to celebrate and thank an individual for making it another year- for being with us for another year. Erwin's words rung back at him.

"Happy birthday, Hange!" The room exploded with activity as the brunette entered the once darkened commander's office. Candlelight immediately illuminating the table full of delicacies usually unattainable with their budget, while her friends and closest companions threw themselves at her.

"What is all this?! When did you all get the time for this?" Hange laughed as she spotted what could only be Moblit's drawing of Hange smiling next to a titan on the wall behind Erwin.

"We thought you needed a little break. As well as a thank you from all of us for the efforts you've put into helping us defeat the giants. No one does it like you, Hans." Nanaba said, wrapping her best friend in a tight hug.

"Right. We also needed an excuse to get something more palatable than charred carrots." Mike commented, earning a slap on the head from Erwin.

Throwing her head back in laugher, Hange smiled. "I appreciate all of this... Thank you. I too have grown tired of charred carrots. That's probably why i don't have much of an appetite lately."

"Tch... that's probably also why your eyesight is so shitty, Four-Eyes." An unexpected voice commented, causing her to swiftly turn to the corner of the room, where Levi stood in solitary, avoiding the center stage of the celebration.

"Levi! You're here too!" She cheered happily, quickly letting go of the blonde as she made her way to the unexpected guest.

"You're the last person I'd expect to be at my birthday celebration." Hange teased, to which Levi rolled his eyes at.

"I was forced to attend. Besides, I need to keep an eye out and make sure you guys don't get the place too dirty." Hange let out a snort. "Of course, that's the reason." She said with a peek of her tongue at him. But they didn't get to talk much more as Nifa immediately grabbed onto her section leader's hand, leading her to the desserts which she and Petra had spent all night making.

"Petra decorated this one so prettily! I tried to do it too, but seems I'm only good at baking, so I left the decorating to her."

The rest of the evening went by without a hitch. Funny stories being told, with the members becoming more and more lively as the night went on from the alcohol consumed. Even Levi, who usually detested and flat out refused to drink anything other than tea, decided to join in for the night.

"I'm just sorry we couldn't get you anything nice, Hans. We tried scrapping up some money but could only really afford to get you a few nice stationary." Nanaba lamented as Hange opened her gift.

Hange shook her head, smiling from ear to ear. "No, I'm already thankful enough having you all here with me. I love it, thank you."

But Erwin interrupted, gently coughing to get everyone's attention. "Actually, I think we all missed a present. There's one under the table we all seemed to have glossed over."

Confusion engulfed the room as everyone exchanged confused glances with each other. Although the brunette's excitement blinded her to the mayhem behind her, causing her not to notice her companions' confusion.

The gift was neatly wrapped, perfectly pressed with nothing out of line in a bright yellow colour. As Hange opened it in anticipation, a particular individual watched her closely in silence. His heart beating out of his chest as he watched the birthday girl's expression.

Hange's eyes narrowed as her brows furrowed in confusion. Her silence causing everyone in the room to fall into expectant anticipation as well. "I... I don't know what to say." She whispered just above a whisper.

And for a second, Levi's heart dropped. Did she not like the gift? Did he guess wrong? Had he ruined the mood? It was his first time gifting someone, and he didn't know whether he'd done the right thing or not.

But his doubts were quickly eased when Hange's excited shout filled the room.

"A MICROSCOPE! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS GET A MICROSCOPE FROM?! IMAGINE ALL THE TESTING I CAN DO WITH THIS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" She shouted in glee, hugging the metal contraption to her chest.

While the others looked on in confusion, Erwin threw a knowing smile to Levi. Causing his face to pink from embarrassment. "Shut it. Unless you want the rest of the night to go to waste." He grumbled. And luckily for him, the older man didn't test him as he chuckled and headed back to join his friends.

The night winded down later than expected. And by that time, half their friends had already passed out, while the other were dealing with a terrible hangover. Hange told everyone she would stay behind and clean up, and Levi being Levi, was already going to do so, so they both ended up cleaning up the mess.

For the most part they were silent, focusing on their tidying duties as the aftermath of the party started leaving their systems. Until...

Splat.

A wet substance of mass hit him on the face. His surprise only lasted a second as Hange's laugher followed. "Your face! I've never seen you so defenseless before!"

"Oi... you're really asking for it now." Levi grunted as he started chasing the brunette around the room, a broom in one hand, the other with a rag. By the time Levi chased her down, it was already daybreak. Tired and out of breath, the two laid on their backs to the wooden floor as they stared up at the ceiling above them.

"Thank you, Levi." She softly spoke up after an elongated silence.

"Huh? What for? Chasing you around with a rag?"

A snort followed his words. "No... For celebrating with me. For giving me the names of those missing soldiers. For comforting me when I felt lost. For being my friend... and for the microscope." She said.

He froze, unsure of how to answer.

Sensing his predicament, she slowly turned on her side so she was looking at him. "Don't deny it. You're the only one that would actually go out of your way to get me one. You're the one who's always getting sponsorships and gifts from the public... it's not out of the realm of possibility for you to reach out to someone to make one."

Throwing a glance at the woman next to him, he sighed. closing his eyes. "Fine. It was me. But it's so that you owe me from now on." He answered. And as expected, Hange giggled at his response.

"I already owe you a lot. Just add it to the list of favours you can get out of me for the next ten years."

This time, Levi turned fully to her, his eyes catching her curious brown ones. "It's not just me you're helping with the microscope, Four-eyes. You're using it to help everyone as you study titans and their origins. Thanks to your experiments, we can become stronger. I will ask for your continued support." He said.

With a smile, Hange nodded. "To defeat the titans... let's work together to get rid of them."

And at seeing the bright morning light illuminated in her irises, he couldn't help but smile as well. "I'll hold you to that. Happy birthday, Four-Eyes."

#hange zoe #levi ackerman #aot #levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot ff #levihan ff

50 notes · View notes